


I'm Guilty I Promise

by Aimandfire



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Dissociation, Don We Now Our Gay Apparel, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, Fainting, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Imagination, In a way, King Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Medical Procedures, Pre-Episode: Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux | Sanders Sides, Repression, Restraints, Self-Destruction, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sick Character, Sickfic, Stress Baking, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Therapy, like the Victorian ladys we are
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:15:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 30,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26962000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aimandfire/pseuds/Aimandfire
Summary: Virgil was not doing well. He decided one night to end it all, leaving notes for his family. What he wasn't expecting was for the mindscape to wake everyone up and for his family to find him as he was bleeding out, and for them to save him. Now very much not dead he and his family have to deal with the consequences, while also having to notice someone else is slipping as well.
Comments: 313
Kudos: 226





	1. Chapter One: Leave the Door Cracked Open

**Author's Note:**

  * For [greenneerg123](https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenneerg123/gifts).
  * Inspired by [these nightmares always hang on past the dream](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22054264) by [greenneerg123](https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenneerg123/pseuds/greenneerg123). 



Virgil let out a sigh, glancing towards his door. He didn’t lock it, and couldn’t decide if he wanted to yet. He wanted his family to get the letters sure, but he knows finding his body would upset the others, especially Patton. Perhaps Logan wouldn’t mind, and Roman might be happy, but Patton would be devastated. At least at first. He would realize what Virgil did was necessary for Thomas. He was getting too powerful, affecting Thomas too much. It might just be an excuse, but it gave him enough of a push to finally do what was needed.

He knew anxiety was necessary, he learned that when he ducked out two years ago. Thomas can’t be left without any anxiety or he wouldn’t even be able to function in day to day life. He needed anxiety, but he didn’t need  _ Virgil. _ The reason Virgil chose to duck out years ago was so a new anxiety didn’t just come and take his place, which would have happened if he did die. Now that was his goal. Virgil was getting too powerful, too strong. The others haven’t noticed yet, but they’re listening to him too much now. It’s nice, sure, but it’s going to start to effect Thomas. Thomas is fine right now, but how long will it last? How long will his influence be held back? 

Virgil won’t deny he’s anxious, but not for himself. Virgil hates spending his days in misery and anxiety, trying to avoid hurting Thomas or his famILY. He doesn’t care about his own life anymore, which is probably a bad thing, but again, he doesn’t care. What Virgil’s nervous about is what will happen to the other’s once he’s gone. Will he be reborn as cruel? Will he not be able to control Thomas’s anxiety? Will he be reborn as two anxieties, making things worse? At least when sides first form they’re children. They grow quickly enough. Within a year the new anxiety will become an adult, but he will start as a mere child. If there are any issues the other’s could just kill the new anxiety and start over again. The light sides might not be willing to, but if he asked Janus in his letter he might do it. Janus sees things in more of a moral grey, if anyone would do what was necessary to protect Thomas, it would be him. 

His letters had to be perfect. He wanted to leave the other sides knowing he loved them, but he didn’t want them to be upset about his death. He knew they weren’t going to be happy, exactly, but hopefully they’ll understand why what he did was necessary.

Virgil double checks each letter to make sure they’re written perfectly. He writes every side's name on each envelope, neatly placing all five letters on his desk. Not only did the light sides each get a letter, but so did Janus and Remus. He really hoped the others wouldn’t go snooping in letters that weren’t theirs but there wasn’t much he could do to make sure. 

He sighs, and walks to the door to check that no one was around, though it was late so none of the others should even be awake. No one was there and he let out a sigh of relief.

Virgil grabbed his knife off his dresser. It wasn’t fancy, only a kitchen knife, but it was sharp and had a solid handle. It could do what he needed, and that’s all Virgil cared about. He laid down on his bed, and pulled his Nightmare Before Christmas blanket up to his chest. Princey would probably want it after he’s gone, and the blood might ruin it, but Virgil was selfish. It was his favorite blanket, and he didn’t want to die cold.

He took the knife and pressed it against his left wrist.  _ Down the road not across the street  _ he remembered, before slicing his wrist. Blood poured out and he gasped at the stinging, the pain a lot more intense than he expected. Still he bit his lip and fought back tears as he brought his bloody hand to his right wrist. His hands were shaking, and his left hand was a bit uncoordinated, but he pressed the knife to his wrist before slicing it open. He was briefly surprised at how much blood there was, but he wasn’t worried. That’s what he wanted, all the blood leaving his body. He closed his eyes and rested his head on his pillow, then closed his eyes. Virgil’s arms stung, but it was easy to ignore. His head started to get foggy, as he slowly slipped into unconsciousness, happy that he would never wake up again.


	2. Chapter Two: I Swear I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Early update for testing reasons

Logan woke up with a start, suddenly aware that something was very off in the mindscape. He looked at his alarm clock to see it was about 1:30 p.m. He had no idea what was wrong but could tell something was very off. He shot up from his bed, still a bit groggy but determined. He stormed out of his room to the hall, and turned the lights on only to see Patton was already there, wearing a onesie, looking very pale.

“Oh, Logan, you’re ok, good, good.” Patton mumbled, his voice dripping with worry. He looked around nervously, very aware that something was wrong as well. 

“Are you alright Patton?” Logan asked, walking over to the fatherly side, quite glad nothing was wrong with him. He placed a comforting hand on Patton’s shoulder, both for himself and for Patton.

“No, no, I’m fine, I’m fine, just somethings wrong, and I’m not sure what.” Patton mumbled softly. Then Roman’s door swung open, and the prince looked rather pale and out of breath, still dressed in his day suit. 

“What’s going on?” Roman panted, resting his hands on his knees. “I was… Dancing… And something… Happened…” He tried to ask, before Logan rushed over to help.

“Breath Roman, we are both ok. Catch your breath. You felt it too, correct?” Logan asked, and Roman nodded his head in conformation, but didn’t try to speak. Finally, he caught his breath and stood up straight, looking a bit wary. 

“You all felt that right?” He asked, and the other two nodded in conformation. “Then what happened?” before anyone could answer him Deceit appeared suddenly in the hallway, wearing bright yellow pajamas and a towel crown on his head.

“So I can see things are going  _ swimmingly  _ on this side of the mindscape.” Deceit said sarcastically, clearly unamused. “What  _ hasn’t  _ happened?”

“We-We’re not actually sure.” Patton stammered. “I just woke up and could tell something was wrong.” Deceit eyed everyone in the room and calculated a plan.

“Alright, we’re  _ not  _ missing both Remus and Virgil. How about Roman and I  _ don’t  _ go find Remus and Patton and Logan  _ don’t  _ go find Virgil, then we  _ don’t  _ go wake Thomas.” Deceit commanded, and while usually the other sides would have objected to him taking control, everyone was far too nervous. Besides, Roman was a little worried about his brother. Remus lacked any sense of self-preservation.

“That sound’s adequate.” Logan said, before Deceit and Roman sunk into the creativity. Logan turned towards Virgil’s room and started to feel a little nervous. Virgil was usually the most aware of changes in the mindscape, and would be the first person up trying to figure out what happened or what changed.

“Don’t worry kiddo, I wouldn’t be surprised if Virgil thinks the change is just his own anxiety.” Patton reassures Logan, giving his hand a comforting squeeze. They both walk to Virgil’s room, Patton leading the way. He gently pushed the door open, the light from the hall falling on Virgil’s unconscious form. He looked somewhat peaceful, a small smile gracing his pale face. “Awww! He’s asleep! That’s so cute!” Patton squealed, then flicked the lights on to the room before letting out a scream.

Virgil looked peaceful, lying unconscious on the bed. He was smiling, but two large cuts marred his wrists which were bleeding profusely. He was pale, far too pale to be healthy. It only took Logan a few seconds to realize he was dying.

Logan wasted no time as soon as he saw the blood, pushing Patton aside to get to Virgil. He analyzed the wounds quickly before jumping into action. “Patton, there is a first-aid kit in the bathroom, I need it.” He commanded, his voice a deadly calm as he tore the blanket off Virgil’s prone form. Logan heard Patton rush off as he pressed his hands over Virgil’s wrists to stop the bleeding. He felt Virgil’s pulse under his palms but it was getting weaker. He heard Patton rush back to the room, holding a white first aid kit, his face as pale as the box.

“Here! Here I have it! What do I do now?” Patton asked, nervously. Logan was scared too, but he didn’t have time to panic.

“I need the bandages, and a clean towel.” Logan commanded, holding Virgil’s wrists as blood kept gushinging out. Patton brought the white bandages over and Logan wrapped them tightly around Virgil’s wrists. His hands were shaking but he secured the cloth bandages around the cuts as calmly as he could. They turned red too fast for Logan’s liking, but still slowed the bleeding. Patton held a clean towel out to Logan, looking like he was seconds from collapsing.

“W-what else do you n-need?” Patton asked, his voice shaking. Logan could tell he was barely holding it together. What Logan needed was blood, but more importantly he needed an IV and blood bag, but he didn’t have those. Only Roman or Remus could summon anything at will. Patton could summon things from strong memory, Logan could summon anything informational, Deceit could only summon disguises or things to help acting, and Virgil…. Well that didn’t really matter now.

“Sit down, we must wait for Roman to arrive.” Logan commanded, distracting himself from his thoughts. The bangages were slowing the bleeding, but it wasn’t slow enough. Logan let out a sigh and sat on the bed. Only then was he hit with the sudden realization of what happened. 

“This was… Purposeful.” Logan mumbled quietly, then started to sob quietly. Patton went even paler at Logan’s words.

“Oh my god. Oh my god!” Patton started to sob loudly. He collapsed on the floor. Logan was too upset to try and help, holding himself tightly on the bed.

The sound of three sides rising up in the hallway. Logan shot up from the bed and ran out to the hallway only to find Deceit, Roman, and Remus standing in the hall looking completely calm. They were chatting and not really looking at Logan as Deceit started.

“Oh we _haven’t_ found Remus. He _isn't_ fine.” Deceit spoke calmly, then looked at Logan and froze. The usually apathetic side looked pale, and he was shaking. There were tear tracks on his face and his pajamas and hands were covered in blood. “What happened?” Deceit demanded, storming over to Logan, checking him up and down for any injuries. “Are you hurt?”

“I-I need an IV drip a-and a blood b-bag.” Logan stammered, slightly in shock. He was shaking, but he needed to stay focused. His eyes flashed to the twins as they each summoned their items. Remus held a bag of blood while Roman held an IV stand and drip.

“Logan. What happened?” Deceit stated calmly, eyes boring into Logan. He stammered on the words for a second before finally blurting something out.

“V-Virgil, Virgil’s bleeding out.” Deceit’s eyes widened before grabbing Logan’s arms and quickly dragging him into Virgil’s room, where he froze at the sight. Virgil looked even worse than before, and Patton was sobbing on the floor mid breakdown. 

Deceit lept into action, taking charge. “Roman set up the IV.” He commanded. Roman stood frozen, not moving. Deceit shot him a glare which seemed to get him to finally move. He then ran to Patton and wrapped his arms around his chest and pulled him up from the ground. Patton didn’t even seem to notice, crying limply in Deceit’s grasp. “Remus, get Patton out of here.” Deceit commanded, passing the fatherly side to a panicked Remus as he pulled the blood bag from his hands, giving it to Roman. Deceit could trust himself and Logan to stay calm, or at least calm enough to help. Roman might freak out but he didn’t get destructive or unpredictable like Remus when he did so. Patton was absolutely panicking, he was going to get in the way or even hurt himself in his hysterical state. 

Deceit passes Patton to Remus who fumbled, but held the crying side tightly against his chest. He stammered something before Deceit mouthed the word ‘go’ and pointed out the door. Remus started to run out the door but Patton must have realized they were leaving because he started to scream.

“Virgil! Virgil! My son! My child! I’m so sorry! Virgil! Remus wait! Virgil my baby! Wait!” He screamed, thrashing in Remus’s arms. Remus held on tight but clearly had no idea what was going on. Deceit looked over to Roman to see the IV was ready, Roman holding the needle in shaking hands.

“Logan, the IV is ready, do what you need.” Deceit commanded, not even looking at Logan as he storms over to a panicking Patton. Remus was pale, his face frozen in fear. Patton’s panic wasn’t exactly helping him either. “Patton, Patton, Patton, shh, shhh.” Deceit softly hushed, taking Patton from Remus and cradling him against his chest. “Virgil will be ok, he’s going to be alright. Shh, Shh.” He slowly walked out the door to the hall, becoming Remus to follow with one of his extra arms.

“My son, my son, I failed him. Oh my god I failed him!” Patton sobbed loudly, but at least he wasn’t fighting Deceit anymore. Deceit carefully took him downstairs to the living room, gently placing him down on the couch. Remus was following behind, shaking and crying as well. He was standing, but looked close to collapsing. Deceit left Patton’s side for a second, only hesitating when Patton grabbed his arms and whimpered.

“I’ll be back in a second Patton, I just need to help Remus.” He reassured, slipping away from Patton grip to grab Remus. He led Remus to the couch and Remus didn’t fight him, practically collapsing onto the couch when Deceit finally let him go.

Patton immediately wrapped his arms around Remus and sobbed. Deceit wasn’t sure if Patton was ever aware what was going on, but he seemed to derive comfort from Remus. Remus clinged back, sobbing as well. Deceit hesitated, but knew he had to help the other sides with Virgil. Taking one last look at the sides on the couch he figured they’d be ok for a few minutes alone.

Deceit ran back to Virgil’s room. Virgil looked pale still, but the bleeding was quite slow. There was an IV in his upper arm, and bandages on his wrists. Roman was pacing, and Logan was sitting on Virgil’s desk, shaking slightly. Deceit could see dark circles forming under both sides' eyes.

“We need to get out of here. You’re being affected by the room.” Deceit commanded, his mind racing and starting to be affected as well.

“We can’t just leave Virgil here!” Roman yelled, indigent.

“Of course, we’ll take him with us. I suggest Logan’s room.” Deceit said as he carefully lifted Virgil in his arms, using another one of them to pick up the IV. He was prepared to leave but was stopped by Logan’s quiet voice.

“Your name is Janus.” Logan all but whispered, staring at the desk.

“Pardon? How do you know that?” Deceit asked, now confused. Why would Logan bring that up now? 

“Janus?” Roman asked, before bursting into hysterical laughter. It wasn’t a fun laugh, it seemed closer to a mental breakdown than anything. He sounded utterly hysterical. “Janus, Janus, Janus” He started to mumble incoherently through laughs, his face turning blue from lack of air.

“Logan, I’m taking Virgil to your room. You and Roman need to get out of here.” Janus commanded, before rushing out to the hallway. He didn’t have time to panic. Virgil was warm in his arms, but not as warm as he usually was. Janus started compiling a list of things he’d need. Blankets, water, most likely some food, extra disinfectant and bandages, and…. Oh god he’d need some restraints wouldn't he? There would be no way to leave Virgil on his own for this. What was Virgil thinking? 

Logan’s room was clean and empty, his walls a dark blue and glowing stars on his ceiling. Usually he was meticulous about his room, but Janus figured Logan wouldn’t mind due to the circumstances. He gently set Virgil on Logan’s perfectly made bed, setting up the IV so the plastic wires didn’t wrap around his wrist. Janus took a second to appreciate how peaceful he looked when he was asleep, knowing it would be a while before Virgil would ever be that calm or peaceful again.

Janus started to play with Virgil’s hair as he heard Logan’s gentle steps walk in the room, then he stopped. Janus didn’t look away from Virgil.

“He… He left us letters. All of us. That’s how I knew your name, though I won’t use it if it makes you feel uncomfortable.” Logan spoke quietly.

“No, it’s fine. I have other concerns right now.” Janus sighed before turning to Logan. He wasn’t crying, but tears were plain on his face. “Is Roman... out of Virgil’s room?” Janus asked, not daring to ask if he was ok. None of them were.

“He’s… With Patton and Remus. They’re… Comfortable enough. I’ve decided to refrain from telling them about the letters till they’re a bit less… Emotional.” Logan said, in his unique way of trying to be sympathetic, but having no idea how to handle emotions.

“May I see my letter?” Janus asked, extending one of his extra hands to Logan. Logan hesitated, before handing the cream envelope with ‘Janus’ written in golden cursive on it. His hands were shaking as he did so.

“I… I haven’t opened mine yet. I’m not sure if I should.” Logan all but whispered. His own envelope had his name in a dark metallic blue, sharing the same cursive font as Janus’s. 

“Go take a breather, get some tea, get something to eat, take a break. Virgil won’t wake up for a while, and you need some time to absorb everything that's happened.” Janus commanded, with a look that said he wasn’t about to be argued with. Logan sighed, then left. 

Janus waited patiently till he heard Logan walk down the stairs. When he was sure he wouldn’t be interrupted he finally tore open the envelope and started reading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd really like to hear anyone's opinion on this


	3. Chapter 3: A note for the Serpent

_Dear Janus_

_I’m sorry for using your name again, I know I lost the right to do so long ago. You have every right to be angry at me, but it just felt wrong to write ‘deceit’ in this letter. I understand if you’re so angry you refuse to read this, but I wanted to apologize._

_I’m sorry I left so long ago. The light sides are my family, but that doesn’t mean you’re not. You raised me, kept me safe, taught me to manage my own anxiety. Still, I left. I know things weren’t perfect then, and I also know it was really all my fault. I never stopped caring for the others, I never stopped caring for you._

_I have something I need to ask. When the mind makes a new anxiety it’s going to be a child. I may be wrong but I think it’ll be me without my memories. I don’t know how the other sides will react but when I come back I need to be controlled. I give you full consent to do whatever is needed to keep me away from Thomas. That includes killing me again if necessary. I’ll still be a child, so it shouldn’t be difficult. I’m only asking you because I know you’ll understand why such actions are necessary, being self preservation and all that entails._

_You may need to hide me as soon as I’m reformed so the others will never find me. I’m sorry I’m giving you such a burden. I know I was horrible to deal with the first time, so if you want to just lock me in some dark corner and forget I exist I understand, just please don’t make it too tight. I’m still a bit claustrophobic._

_Sorry about everything I’ve done to you, I understand if you’re still angry. I do still love you, you raised me and cared for me even though you had far better things you could have been doing with your time. I do love you, even if I haven’t shown it. I’m sorry._

_Sincerely, Virgil Anxiety Sanders_

Janus scanned over the letter again and again, hoping he was somehow misreading it. Every word written was somehow worse than the next. Virgil’s spiralling mind was written clear on the paper, and it was horrifying to read. He blamed himself for everything, and not a word of it was a lie, at least according to Virgil. 

The reason Virgil left was complicated. There was a rift in the dark side that had been forming for a while before Virgil left. It was both everyone's fault and no ones. By the time Virgil left it was clear something needed to change, or it would all fall apart. Sure Janus was angry when Virgil left, but he understood why. Virgil was fight or flight, and they fought almost every day. It wasn’t working, so it makes sense that he’d give flight a try. 

Janus glanced back up at Virgil’s sleeping form. He was breathing steadily, and seemed stable enough, but he still placed a hand over his wrist to feel for a pulse. It’s not strong but it’s clear, and that’s all Janus can hope for. He doesn’t know what will happen when Virgil wakes up, but needs to prepare for the worst. Virgil won’t be happy when he wakes up, and will probably panic. He might easily hurt himself or someone else, but the ‘himself’ part was what Janus was most worried about.

He’d need to talk to Roman, and most likely Remus too. They needed to make sure he was safe when he woke up, and while Roman could summon anything they needed without adding a horrifying twist like Remus often did, Remus could find any hazards the others would overlook or not think of. Janus didn’t know what to do next, but he knew he had to keep Virgil safe. He already failed him once before, he refused to do it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what y'all think in the comments below :)


	4. Chapter Four: A bite of the fruit of knowlage

Logan couldn’t stop moving. He put tea on the kettle and kept pacing around the kitchen, avoiding sight of the living room. He didn’t know how to deal with everything, he didn’t know how to deal with all the emotions that were rolling around in his head.

He looked down at the letter, unmistakably it was for him. Yet he still felt like he shouldn’t read it. He should just put the letter back on Virgil’s desk, and pretend it didn’t exist.

But he knew he couldn’t do that. The entire situation was terrifying, and no one even knew where to start fixing it. Logan was terrified, and he couldn’t ignore his emotions. The best way to combat fear was knowledge, and the letters would give important insight into Virgil’s mental state. Insight that could be used to help him. Even if it felt invasive, Virgil left them for a reason.

The tea kettle starts to whistle and he takes it off the oven and pours a cut before carefully opening the envelope so it could be reused. He carefully unfords the letter, and starts reading.

_ Dear Logan _

_ I suppose I should apologize for a lot of things. I don’t have enough paper or time to list them all out, but I messed up. A lot.  _

_ Out of everyone I’m sure you probably would be the least upset. You probably understand why all this is completely necessary. I am an error in Thomas, one that all of you have been far too kind in not fixing. This way no one will feel guilt over what needs to be done. _

_ Logan you’ve been a good friend, even if I’ve been a horrible one. You’ve always been there to help me calm down, you’ve always helped me work through my panic attacks, and that means a lot, even if I understand that it was all for the sake of Thomas. _

_ You were a good friend. You’ve always been there for me, even if I never gave you anything in return. I hope you’re realized that you don’t have to pretend anymore. You don’t have to pretend to like me, you don’t have to pretend to care. You never should have had to in the first place. I’m sorry I was so selfish in taking up so much time. _

_ Virgil Anxiety Sanders _

Logan barely noticed he was crying until tears started to land on the note. His hands were shaking and he had to put down his teacup to stop from accidentally spilling it. 

“Logan are you ok?” Logan didn’t even notice Patton walk into the kitchen until he spoke. He jumped at the sudden sound, the letter shaking in his hand. “Logan?” Patton asked softly, looking down at Logan’s hands, seeing the letter.

"Here, let's put that aside.” Patton said as he took the letter from Logan’s hand, putting it by the tea cup. Logan was in too much shock to resist. Patton took Logan’s shaking hands in his own, gently guiding him to one of the kitchen chairs before letting Logan collapse. Logan wasn’t sure where it came from but he was being wrapped in a fuzzy blanket and the tea from earlier was put in his hand.

“How are you feeling Lo?” Patton asked softly, fully aware that everyone was feeling like utter shit. 

“H-he left l-letters. O-one f-for each of u-us.” Logan stammered, remembering the four other letters in his pocket. He pulled them out awkwardly, the papers slightly bent from his pajamas. He held out the letter labeled ‘Patton’ in sky blue ink. Patton frowned slightly as he took the letter from Logan's hands.

“Oh… Oh dear… I’m not sure if I should read this.” Patton mumbled softly to himself, tracing his name with his fingers. “It feels like an invasion somehow, like I’m invading his privacy…. But he left it for me…” Patton mumbled, feeling quite conflicted.

“I’ve already read mine. It’s…. Quite disturbing. He doesn’t see himself as a person, he sees himself as an error or glitch. He sees himself as a burden and nothing more. I don’t know if it’s the same for your letter, but you should read it.” Logan says before sighing and taking a sip or his tea. “You should read it. I’d usually respect Virgil’s privacy, but he can’t be afforded that privilege right now, for his own sake. It’ll give us at least some more understanding with what’s going on inside his head.” Logan said flatly, exhaustion creeping into his bones now that he’s had a chance to rest.

Patton hesitates before messily opening the envelope with shaking hands and reading the words written inside.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I hope you all enjoy! I'd appreciate any and all feedback you can give me.


	5. Chapter Five: Father I Have Sinned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well Happy Halloween! I know most of you won't be able to go trick or treating so I decided to deliver both! Treats with an extra update and treats with watching you all suffer in the comments :)

_ Dear Patton _

_ You’re probably pretty upset right now, and I’m sorry about that. You always cared about all of us so much, even though I didn’t deserve it. You just have so much love for everyone, it’s beautiful. _

_ I know you blame yourself a lot when you hold no guilt. I want you to know you had nothing to do with this. This was my decision and my decision alone. I’ve already been selfish by sticking around this long. I hope you’ll see that one day, see that I was more of a hindrance than of help, but I understand that you're upset. _

_ I want you to know I love you, dad. You’ve always been there and you’re always trying your best, even if I never appreciated you enough. I never cared for you enough, I never loved you enough. I wasn't able to give you what you deserved, and I’m sorry. _

_ I really hope you weren’t the one to find my body. None of you should have to see that, but I know it would upset you the most. If it makes you feel better it wasn’t painful at all, so your ‘kiddo’ didn’t suffer. Not that I ever deserved that name, but it was nice to pretend. _

_ Love, Virgil Anxiety Sanders _

Patton felt tears leak down his cheek before he even finished. Why didn’t Virgil feel like he deserved love? Why didn’t he feel like he was enough? Did Patton not do enough? He let out a gasp and covered his mouth as he sobbed.

“Patton?” Logan noticed his distress, but wasn’t quite sure what to do. “Sit down.” He stood up and pushed a chair out for him, suddenly hoping that there was another side here, one that was better with emotions. Patton wasted no time wandering over before all but collapsing. He let out a sob as Logan awkwardly rubbed his back to try and make him feel a little better. 

After sobbing for five minutes straight Patton finally calmed down slightly. He was still crying, wiping the tears from his eyes, but he could speak.

“W-we need to f-fix this.” He said, determined “H-he needs to know h-he’s loved. H-he needs to kn-now he’s important.” Despite the tears he sounded sure and confident. He didn’t know how, but something needed to happen and he needed to be better for his son.

“Of course, of course. We should bring the other letters to the twins, then we should all get together and discuss what needs to be done.” Logan said, his voice deceptively calm but with strong emotions underneath. “I-I am not quite sure what to do in this situation. I don’t know how to help.” Logan admitted, quite ashamed.

“Well we’re not going to do this alone. We’re all going to work together to help.” Patton reassured him with a slight smile. Logan gave him a nod, and a shy smile.

“Ok. Let’s give these letters to Roman and Remus, and we’ll go from there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes there will still be an update Monday don't worry


	6. Chapeter Six: To Cain, To Able

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I promise, this is the last chapter about the letters.

Roman and Remus held each other tightly on the couch, tears streaming down their faces as they clutched each other, scared to let go. They didn’t even notice Patton and Logan approach, which was rather concerning to said sides.

“Heyyy kiddo’s, how are you two doing?” Patton asked nervously, wringing his hands as he approached. The twins' eyes suddenly snapped up in sync, staring at Patton and Logan. Patton took a nervous step back, slightly alarmed at the sudden movement.

Logan watched in awe and fear as the twins phased, their edges turning blurry and their colors going pale. They held each other, but their arms started to overlap. Their bodys blurred and Logan could no longer see a difference between the two. There was a bright, white light that Logan had to shield his eyes from. When he opened his eyes and blinked a few times he stared in shock. Where both Roman and Remus sat before was one person, King Creativity.

The fusion was messy. The suit had blotchy parts of both black and white, and two sashes, one red and one green. He was slightly bigger than the rest of the sides, with one green eye and one red eye. He had a slight beard, but it was messy. His hair was also messy, a bit longer than normal with a few white highlights framing his face.

Logan had no idea what was going on but Patton did. He quickly bent his knee in a half kneel before rising again. “King Mars, do you know what's going on?” He asked nervously.” The King looked up, his eyes almost glowing.

“Yes” His voice doubled over, and Patton cringed slightly. Clearly the fusion wasn’t stable. “The letters” He spoke again, his voice still doubling over. He hesitated, before handing both letters over to the king. The king used one hand on each and tore them both open at the same time.

_ Dear Remus _

_ I wish you had better memories of me, but you probably hate me now. I don’t blame you. _

_ I’m not going to lie, I miss being friends with you. I guess as we got older I got scared. It wasn’t your fault, it was mine alone. I should have been more understanding. I shouldn’t have been so scared, I should have trusted you’d never hurt me. But I didn’t. I didn’t trust you, I didn’t trust Janus, and I left.  _

_ Both of you loved me but I still betrayed you. You kept me safe, you protected me. Yet I left. You haven’t been angry at me, and I can’t understand why. Why are you not angry? Why don't you hate me? _

_ Remus, you’re a better person than I’ve ever been, I want you to know that. So I’m going to apologize in advance. When I reform as a new anxiety I’m probably going to be scared of you again. Sorry. _

_ If you want, you can have my corpse. I don’t care what you do with it, whether you experiment or whether you make it into art or whatever. Your art is pretty good, just a bit morbid for my taste. _

_ Take Care, Virgil Anxiety Sanders _

The king made no change in his expression, but his edges blurred slightly before he turned his head to the other letter.

_ Dear Roman _

_ Honestly I’m really going to miss you, but you probably hate me still. I don’t blame you, I hate me too. _

_ You’ve worked so hard to forgive me and to make things work, and you’ve changed so much to try and help me. I don’t know how I could ever thank you. _

_ This letter is pretty hard to write, I'm not going to lie. You are a good friend Princey, though I know I wasn’t. I always stood in your way, in Thomas’s way. Out of all of us you’ve always worked the hardest to make things work.  _

_ I don’t know what to say because there's just so much to say. There’s so much I want to apologize for, so much I want to thank you for, and so much I want to give you. I just don’t have the time. _

_ I know you probably wanted my Nightmare Before Christmas blanket, and I’m sorry I was so selfish. The blood stains probably ruined it. It just makes me feel more comfortable, and I didn’t want to die cold. I’m sorry about that, but I do want you to have my posters.  _

_ I’m really sorry about this. I was a horrible friend, but I will miss you. _

_ Regards, Virgil Anxiety Sanders _

The king's expression remained blank as his edges blurred and he split with a bright, white light. Remus was on the couch, his expression was one of shock as he held himself on the couch, tears streaking down his face.

Roman, on the other hand, was pacing the floor as he fumed and ranted. “The blanket! The stupid fucking blanket! He’s bleeding out, almost dead, and he thinks I’m worried about his fucking blanket!” He screamed, scaring Logan and Patton. Patton rushed over to try and calm him down.

“Roman, it’s ok, it’s ok. Virgil’s alright, he’s just a bit sick right now. He’s going to wake up and be ok.” Patton reassured him, following behind him. Meanwhile Remus stood up without being noticed, summoned his morningstar, and started slamming it into the wall.

Logan rushed to try and stop him but didn’t know how. “Remus, uh, you may hurt yourself, please put the weaponry down.” He pleaded awkwardly, but to no avail. Suddenly he heard a soft and rich voice from behind him.

“Come little children, I’ll take thee away, to a land of enchantment.” He turned to see Janus singing softly. Remus turned as well, tears streaming down his face. Janus kept singing. “Come little children, The times come to play, here in my garden of shadows.” His voice seemed loud in the quiet room though it wasn’t. He opened his arms wide for Remus who leapt into them, sobbing in his arms. Janus kept singing. “Follow sweet children, I’ll show thee the way, through all the pain and the sorrow.” His song fell into hums as Remus sobbed and sobbed. Janus gently swayed, humming and holding Remus in his arm until his sobbing quelled to soft tears. 

“Virgil’s alright, for now.” Janus reassured, running his fingers through Remus’s hair. "He’s still asleep but he’s doing better.”

“Thank you so much Deceit.” Patton whispered through his tears.

“It’s Janus.” He said softly, still swaying with Remus in his arms. Patton looked at him, blinking in confusion. “My name is Janus.”

“Ah!” Patton blurted out, surprised at the sudden confession. “Well it’s a very nice name kiddo.” He said through a shaky smile. Janus just gave him a slight nod as he eased Remus to the couch.

“Well, we probably  _ shouldn’t  _ start discussing what to do next.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about how long the letters took, but the main plot comes back in this chapter. I'd love to know what you think, any questions you have, or even any suggestions for future stories.


	7. Chapter Seven: The Robot That Cried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imma be honest, I fucked up formatting last chapter so I'm fixing it now. Honestly, my bad. This isn't new content, I'm just splitting last chapter up properly.

Logan strapped Virgil’s wrists down gently. He didn’t tighten them too much, worried about aggravating the scars under the bandages. Janus noticed this, but decided to leave it be.

“I’ll stay here and I _won’t_ call you when he wakes up.” Janus reassured with a gentle pat on the back. Logan bit his lip and nodded, fighting tears. He was internally freaking out, but didn’t want to break down. Everyone else was already so fragile right now, and he needed to be strong. 

He left the room while overzealously rubbing his eyes to avoid the tears leaking out. He couldn’t even stay in his room to calm down because the sight of Virgil wanted to make him cry. He bit back a sob as he crumbled to the floor, holding himself tightly as he bit his lip hard to avoid making any noise.

“Hey kiddo, do you want to talk about it?” Patton asked softly as he approached, noticing Logan’s clear distress. Logan shook his head and shoved it in between his legs to hide his face as he dug his nails into his arms.

“No kiddo no! Come on, don’t do that.” Patton pleaded softly, taking his hands in his own so he couldn’t claw at his arms. Then Logan started to shake.

“I-I’m s-sorry! I’m s-so s-sorry!” Logan cried, shaking hard. Patton enveloped him in a hug as he cried.

“It’s ok, it’s ok, you can cry, it’s ok.” Patton said calmly, pulling Logan into his lap and rocking him as he cried. Logan was breathing heavy into his chest, sobbing. He calmed down way too soon to mere sniffles and tried to pull away, but Patton pulled him back into his chest. “You can cry Logan, it’s ok, you can cry.” Logan bit his lip and let out a whine as he held his sobs back. Patton ran his finger through Logan’s hair and down his back. “It’s not good to repress your emotions like that. Believe me, let it out Logan.” He whispered softly, and Logan couldn’t fight his tears as he started to sob in Patton’s shoulder, his chest aching and shaking. He held onto Patton tightly, soaking his shoulder in tears. Finally the crying stopped, as Logan held no more tears. Only then did Patton let him pull back.

“I-I’m not used t-to such emotions. I-I am sorry.” He apologized, wiping tears away. Patton gave him a soft look.

“Don’t apologize for crying, especially when you have such a good reason. Now come on, let’s go join the twins in the living room.” Patton said as he stood up, and extended a hand to help him up from the floor. He wrapped his arm around Logan’s shoulders and started to pull Logan to the living room but froze when he heard a scream from Virgil’s room.

“Help! Help! Virgil’s awake!”


	8. Chapeter Eight: My soul is bare and screaming

Virgil knew as soon as he regained consciousness that something went wrong. His wrists hurt but he was clearly alive. It didn’t feel like his room either, something was different. 

He heard footsteps but didn’t dare open his eyes. Someone was watching over him, waiting for him to wake up. He Tried to move slightly, only to quickly realize he was restrained. Testing them it was clear they were loose. 

Carefully he spent a few minutes easing his wrists out of the binding. They had a lot of give, so it didn’t take too long to slip out. He was able to do it without even drawing attention to the fact that he was awake.

He cracked an eye open to look around the room and was surprised to find he was in Logan’s room. He saw Janus pacing around, and didn’t understand why either of them were there, but it could be worse. Janus would most likely let him be if he decided to finish the job. Virgil looked to the bare dresser only to see an open medical kit with both a scalpel and a bottle of pills, but wasn’t sure what to use.

A scalpel would be faster, but a wound could easily be patched up. Pills might take awhile, but if he downed them quickly enough no one could stop him. He wasn’t even sure why they stopped him in the first place, but he wouldn’t have to worry about that soon enough. 

Virgil stayed quiet and still, waiting for Janus to turn his back on him. When Janus finally paced over to the other side of the room he jumped out of the bed and tried to dash to the pills, and instantly almost collapsed from dizziness. As his vision returned he supported himself on the corner of the bed before realizing he had gotten Janus’s attention.

“Virgil?” He heard his soft voice call, but ignored it as he shot forward. Janus quickly slammed to the ground roughly. Virgil was confused but started to struggle. He couldn’t see what was going on but didn’t care either way. He kicked the other side's leg, and he loosened his grip in surprise, letting Virgil roll over on his back. Suddenly hands were on his arms as he was pushed down as he faced a panicked Janus. He kicked his leg again, making Janus lose his stance but the deceitful side held fast. Before Virgil could stop him Janus opened his mouth and screamed.

“Help! Help! Virgil’s awake!” He screamed, despite Virgil’s attempts to shush him. Mere seconds later the door was thrown open and Logan and Patton rushed inside.

“Virgil!” Patton screamed as Logan rushed over, pinning Virgil's flailing legs down. That didn’t stop him from struggling, and only seemed to strengthen his fight, giving both Janus and Logan a run for their money. He started to slam his head on the ground during the fight, absolutely desperate to escape. Patton shoved a pillow under him to stop Virgil from hurting himself further as the twins rushed upstairs.

“He’s awake? What’s going on?” Roman asked as he laid eyes on the struggling and angry Virgil, but he jumped in to help and took a leg from Logan to keep him down. 

“Let me go! Let me go!” Virgil screamed as Patton tried to comfort him.

“No can do  _ Virge _ .” Janus practically hissed before looking up to Remus. “Remus be a dear and make sure the restraints aren’t broken.” Remus looked pale and shocked, but nodded and did what he was told.

“Th-they’re fine. I added a leg restraint too.” He stuttered, and Virgil let out a wordless scream as he struggled more, giving all three sides holding him a hard time. Patton jumped in to help, taking one of his arms from Janus and holding down the flailing side.

“Easy, easy, just calm down Virgil, we’re going to help, but you need to relax.” Janus said softly, but still holding on tightly. Like flipping a switch, Virgil suddenly went still. He stopped flailing and laid flat on the floor, staring harshly at Janus.

“Fine. I’m calm. Let me go.” He said, his voice sounding angry as he glared at Janus, who wasn’t fooled for a second.

“Logan, DO NOT let go.” He commanded as he adjusted his own grip on Virgil’s arm, though Roman and Patton started to ease up. Janus forcefully pulled him up from the ground, his hands firm on Virgil’s elbow and wrist. Logan also held on, but not as tightly as Janus. 

Virgil immediately started to thrash and kick, trying to get free. He was a much better fighter standing up, and freed his hand from Logan’s grip almost immediately. Janus, however, was far more prepared. He knew Virgil wouldn’t give up so easily. 

“Roman, Remus, I need your help.” He commanded, keeping his voice calm even if he was losing his grip. He didn’t even notice that the king formed till he was at Virgil’s side and grabbed his flailing arm. Both of them paled at the sight of the king, Janus almost loosened his grip in shock. Virgil took that opportunity to try and pull away, but couldn’t. He started to kick at both sides legs, making Janus bite back a whimper of pain. Still he refused to let go.

King Mars didn’t even seem affected, standing still and stoic as Virgil kicked at him, trying to force him to let go. He slowly pulled Virgil closer and closer to the bed. When Virgil finally noticed he went absolutely crazy.

“Let me go! Let me go!” He screamed, trying to kick and bite those who were holding him. Patton started to whimper in the background, terrified of what was going on.

“Logan, Patton, I’m going to need help getting him restrained.” He ordered as Virgil let out another screech. Janus and the king pushed Virgil onto the bed, holding down his flailing limbs as Patton and Logan tightened his arms in the restraints. His legs kicked wildly as compensation as he bucked on the bed and pulled on his arms. Patton held his stomach down as the others struggled to force his legs into the restraints. Finally, the last restraint was secured and the other sides jumped back.

They were hoping that Virgil would calm down as soon as he realized he couldn’t get away. They were wrong. Virgil seemed almost feral, feet and arms flailing as he yelled incoherently. 

“Let me go!” He demanded, glaring at everyone around him as he flailed. Janus just shook his head, and Virgil let out a scream. He tried to kick out of the restraints to no avail. Then he looked over to see Logan’s bedside table, and he had an idea.

Without warning he slammed his wrists into the edge of the table and bit back a scream of pain. He did it again and again, hoping to somehow loosen or break the restraint. 

“Virgil! Stop! Please stop kiddo!” Patton begged, unsure what to do but desperate to help. Luckily Janus wasn’t so panicked.

“Grab his left arm and pin him down.” He yelled as he grabbed Virgil’s right one and pinned it as well. Patton grabbed Virgil’s other arm and held it down too, watching Virgil sadly as the anxious side started to hyperventilate. Something had to be done, and Virgil wasn’t going to relax anytime soon. At least not by himself.

“Logan, King Mars, I need you to get Remy. Tell him it’s an emergency.” Janus said, not looking up. Virgil started to panic even more now as the other sides sunk out.

“No! Let me go! Let me go!” He screamed, thrashing and bucking, trying to force the other sides to loosen their grip. He let out a whimper of pain as Patton pushed harder on his bruising wrist.

“It’s ok kiddo, just calm down, we don’t want to hurt you.” Patton pleaded as he shook, trying desperately to keep it together. Virgil either didn’t notice or didn’t care, as he didn’t calm down at all. He let out a sigh of relief when he heard the sides return. 

He looked up to see the King split again, Remus and Roman next to each other, both looking pale and shaky. Logan stood, looking only slightly better as he stood next to a very confused and shocked looking Remy.

“What the Hell is up babes?” Remy asked in shock. Janus gave him an inpatient glare as he spoke.

“Knock him out!” Janus screamed, starting to lose his grip. Virgil heard this and started to flail even harder. Sure he was still tied down, but he was putting up a fight. He let out a feral scream, and Remy jumped back in shock.

“Right.” Remy said quietly, more to himself than anyone else. He approached slowly from Patton’s side as Patton kept whispering soft to Virgil, trying to get him to calm down. Remy summoned a syringe filled with a strong hypnotic, and Virgil noticed. His panic got worse as he freed his arm from Patton’s grasp, flailing his arm in the restraint. 

Remy didn’t even bother trying to grab him again, though he knew he probably could. He plunged the syringe right into Virgil’s neck, then pushed the plunger down, forcing all of it into Virgil’s body. His eyes flashed in panic, but Virgil didn’t have time to acknowledge what was going on before the hypnotic started taking hold.

“No, no, no, no...” He pleaded tiredly as he tried to fight the effects of the drug. His eyes started to drop down as his flails became sluggish.

“It’s ok Virgil, it’s ok. Just rest, we’ll be here when you wake up. Sleep, it’s ok.” Patton comforted softly as Virgil could no longer fight the drug, slipping into a deep and uneasy sleep. The other sides stared in shock at the now sleeping anxious side, then Remy finally spoke up.

“Is anyone gonna tell me what happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't say anything political in the comment section, but do share your opinions on anything else. Like if you just want to say Socrates was a little bitch, or share your opinion on the Geneva Convention or just give us a fun fact about foxes you can do that, just avoid politics.


	9. Chapter Nine: Not Quite Waking to a Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just cause I posted a new story yesterday doesn't mean I'm not going to update

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It appears there has been concern about the direction this story is going, so I will say this-There will be NO CHRACTER DEATH, period. No temporary character death, no permanent character death, no minor character death, no major character death.

Patton and Roman ran to the imagination to go find Dr. Picani as Remy decided to stick around, distracting Logan from his own spiralling thoughts. Janus’s and Remus’s job was far less fun. They’re job was to make sure Virgil couldn’t hurt himself or escape when he woke up.

“Connect the leg’s so he can’t kick.” Janus commanded softly, looking over Virgil’s prone form. He was so small like this, but he didn’t seem peaceful. His sleep looked uneasy, but at least he wouldn’t be waking up for a while. “Shorten the arm restraints, and we should do something to restrain his hands more.” Janus said, as Remus quietly got to work. Not only did he connect the legs and shortened the arm restraints but he also covered Virgil’s hands in padded medical mittens, and a roll belt around his stomach and chest so he couldn’t flail too much. Virgil would not be happy when he woke up, but he would be safe, which was Janus’s main concern.

“Alright babes.” Remy said, holding a metal box with an uncharacteristically serious face. “Inside there are three syringes. The red one will put him right to sleep, it’s what I just used. The blue one will…” He clicked his tongue as he searched for the right words. “Sedate him, but he won’t fall asleep. It’ll calm him, and make it harder for him to hurt himself. He might fall asleep later though. The purple one won’t calm him or anything, but it’ll loosen his tongue, make it harder for him to lie.” Remy handed the box over to Janus. “They’ll refill themselves, but be careful. He’ll be upset if you use them.”

“Those will be very helpful. Thank you.” Janus mumbled, not looking away from Virgil. Janus hated doing this to what he would call his oldest friend, but Virgil needed this. Virgil could no longer care for himself, look after himself, keep himself safe. He needed others right now to make sure all his needs are met and to make sure he can’t hurt himself. He won’t be happy, but Janus's job was to keep him safe. “Do you have them in pill form?”

Remy thought for a second, then nodded. “I can get you some, they won’t be as strong, but they won’t be too hard to make.” 

Janus took them with a slight nod. “Thanks Remy. Are you going to stick around?” He asked quietly. 

Remy took a look at the unconscious Virgil, frowned, then shook his head. “No, I don’t want to overwhelm him.” Remy said, before ducking back into the unconsciousness. Janus let out a sigh and rubbed his face.

“You ok Jan?” Remus asked softly, sitting on the wall next to Virgil’s bed, conveniently ignoring gravity as he perched like a gargoyle, watching over Virgil for any sign of movement. Without hesitation Janus grabbed his cane and chucked it against the wall with a yell. Remus blinked in surprise, before snapping, and repairing the dent it left in the wall. “I’ll take that as a no.”

Janus didn’t respond, only collapsing on an armchair, using his hat to hide his face. Remus looked at him curiously, but decided against leaving Virgil’s side. He also knew if he tried to push Janus would just snap at him and close off even further. Remus thought he could say something, but wasn’t sure what. Logan was sitting in the corner still, silently clutching himself, looking almost detached from the world around him. Remus honestly wasn’t sure who he should be more concerned about at the moment. Virgil, who was suicidal but both asleep and restrained, Janus, who was three seconds away from a breakdown, or Logan who was clearly disassociating.

Luckily Remus didn’t have to as the other light sides popped up along with a very concerned looking Dr. Emile Picani in his usual light brown jacket. “Hello everyone.” He said, his voice a bit peppy but clearly saddened. He looked at Virgil and frowned. “I was told this was an emergency.” Then he looked at both Logan and Janus, and grimised. “How long should Virgil be asleep?” He asked, nervously.

“Six to eight hours.” Janus mumbled from behind his hat. Emile blinked, but smiled at him even if he couldn’t see.

“Thank you Deceit.” He said calmly, fully aware that he clearly wasn’t doing well. 

“It’s Janus.” He mumbled quietly, his voice muffled still. Emile blinked in surprise, but hid his shock well.

“That’s a lovely name.” Emile said with such softness and conviction that Janus had to do a double take. He looked closely but the therapist seemed completely genuine. He looked back at Virgil with a frown. Emile looked around to see the exhaustion and worry on all the other sides face’s as he dawned his own in an expression of determination.

“Alright. I can see you all haven't gotten much sleep so here is what we are going to do. I’ll stay here and watch Virgil till he wakes up, and all of you are going to get some sleep.” All the sides yelled in protest but Emile just raised his hand till everyone quieted, but they were still on edge.

“But Virgil! He’ll need one of use here to know we care! Have you seen the letters? Have you seen what’s going on in his head?” Roman cried indignantly, waving his letter around in the air as he spoke.

“Virgil will get easily overwhelmed if everyone is here when he wakes up, especially with how he was knocked unconscious. Everyone being exhausted and overwhelmed will not help him.” Emile stated plainly, but not unkindly. “And I actually haven’t read the letters. May I see them?” He asked kindly, and all the sides wasted no time practically shoving the letters in his hands, all eager to get rid of them like coals burning holes in their pockets.

“So there’s nothing we can do to help?” Patton said, tears dripping down his eyes as he bit his lip nervously. Emile smiled at him and patted his back gently.

“You can help him by getting some rest, Patton.” Emile’s voice was calm and comforting, despite the circumstances. “When he awakes I’ll need to be able to determine what state his mental health is in, how logical he’s thinking, how much of a danger he is to himself.” Emile frowned. “He’ll most likely be angry when he wakes up, so you may hear some yelling.”

“My room is soundproof, as are all bedrooms.” Logan quickly corrected, and Emile looked a slight bit less uneasy.

“That is good. There is no way of determining how he’ll react, but I need to talk to him how to proceed.” Emile shuffled the papers in his hands, then looked at the twins. “I’ve been told both of you have started forming the king again?” He asked. Roman and Remus blinked, then looked at each other surprised.

“Well, yes? We can fuse when we’re in similar states of mind. We don’t become one person, it’s still both Remus and I, we just have the same goal.” Roman explained, twiddling his thumbs as he spoke. Remus just stared from his perching place, trying to figure out where Emile was going with this.

“I see. I would like to ask either of you if the experience was….. Traumatic at all?” Roman and Remus stared at him in shock. “I know you two haven’t fused in awhile, so I would like to set forth the opportunity to talk to me if you need.” He then looked at everyone in the room. “In fact I would like to extend this opportunity to all of you. This entire experience is most likely very stressful, so if you need to talk, or just to vent, I’m here. I would also like to remind you that anything we discuss will be completely confidential.” It took everyone a second to realize what he just said, all of them too exhausted to really acknowledge what he was saying at first.

“O-oh thank you Emile. We’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” Patton murmured, rubbing his eyes as he spoke.

“You should get some rest.” Emile spoke softly at first, then a little louder. “All of you. I’ll stay here to watch over Virgil.” The sides shared silent glances with each other, clearly not wanting to leave. Still, they complied, each glancing at Virgil as they left, eventually

closing the door behind them.

Emile let out a sigh and slumped down in the blue armchair that was summoned at some point. He flickered through the five notes, one for each main side. There was clearly some serious thought in each letter and he doubts they were all written in one night. If Emile remembers correctly the knife Virgil used went missing a few weeks ago, meaning at the very least Virgil was considering this for a long time, if not planning it.

Emile frowned as he read through each and every letter, carefully taking in every word as to not miss a thing. It truly saddened him to see Virgil in such a state. However he was somewhat glad that it was all written out for him. He doubted Virgil would be very open after all of this, and the notes were the best insight.

At the very least they showed that not only was Virgil’s mindset horribly and erroneously flawed in a way that would take a long time to correct, but also that he was an immediate danger to himself.

Emile read over each letter twice, just to make sure nothing was missing. It was all there written plainly, and it was honestly a lot more information than he would expect. He put the letters to the side and summoned a phycology book on dealing with anxiety and depression. He didn’t think Virgil’s problem was depression, at least not fully, though it would definitely play a role. He believed Virgil was suffering from a mix of cognitive distortions, lack of self-preservation skills, and the fact that he would do anything to protect his friends and family. Even if his actions were based on flawed reasoning.

Emile wasn’t sure how much time had passed as Logan’s room didn’t have a window. In the beginning he heard the sides stomp around the mindscape quietly with a slight bit of the occasional chatter that Emile couldn’t quite hear. But now the mindscape was a deadly quiet, so he was quite certain that most, if not all, the other sides were asleep when Virgil started to stir.

Emile raised his eyebrow and gently placed his book aside as he watched Virgil intently. Virgil didn’t arouse quickly. He moved around still half asleep for a few minutes before finally opening his eyes. Even then they were half lidded and he didn’t seem fully awake till he looked down at his hands and a horrified expression. “Shit!” He yelled as he tried to sit up, but was quickly stopped by the chest restraint. He started to flail, only to realize how securely restrained he actually was. Then he started to panic, flailing even worse and achieving absolutely nothing.

Then finally his eyes landed on Emile in the corner and he froze, his expression one of shock before morphing into anger. “Is all this really necessary?” Virgil hissed angrily, pulling on his arm restaurants in anger. Emile was not disturbed.

“I think we both know the answer to that.” Emile said plainly, though it did nothing to quell Virgil’s anger. “Are you hungry or thirsty?” Emile asked kindly. Virgil just glared.

“No.” He snapped angrily, which was hardly surprising.

“Well then.” Emile said, summoning a steaming cup of tea. “I believe we have quite a bit to discuss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Foxes have whiskers on their legs and can run up to 45 miles per hour :)


	10. Chapter Ten: The One Who Isn't A Player In The Game

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like some tea?” Emile asked again. Virgil only glared. Emile shrugged and took a sip of his tea before continuing. “I’m going to ask you some questions. You don’t have to answer them, but depending on the question I may assume the worst.” Emile warned him.

“Do I have a choice?” Virgil asked, his voice loud and bitter. Emile simply shook his head and Virgil mumbled something that Emile couldn’t quite here.

“Let’s start simply. When did you write the letter?” Emile asked, and Virgil took a second to stop glaring and respond.

“Last night and the night before. It’s morning now, isn’t it?” Virgil asked, only slightly unsure. Emile checked his watch, then nodded.

“Yes, it’s eight thirty. Now next question.” Virgil whined slightly at his words, but it was noticeable. Emile decided to change tactics. “Have you been eating?” Virgil did a double take, looking at him in surprise.

“Wait why?” Virgil asked, perplexed. Emile only shrugged.

“You look thin.” He stated simply, and looked at Virgil for a response. Virgil looked down and fidgeted uncomfortably before responding.

“I’ve been eating enough.” Virgil stated, but his voice didn’t hold the bite from earlier.

“How much is enough, Virge?” Emile asked, his eyes flickering over Virgil’s skinny form. He wasn’t wearing his concealing hoodie, exposing his thin arms. He wasn’t skeletal quite yet, but clearly he wasn’t taking very good care of himself. Virgil only looked down, not answering his question.

“Alright, we can discuss that later. How have you been sleeping?” Emile asked, changing the subject. Virgil simply shrugged.

“I’ve never had a good sleep schedule, but it hasn’t changed.” Virgil said simply, refusing to look up. Emile nodded kindly, taking mental notes. Emile was quite inclined to believe Virgil about his sleeping schedule, Virgil always struggled with sleeping and he had no signs that he was lying now. Emile nodded sympathetically.

“Of course, I understand how that could be quite frustrating. Now I have a few harder questions I need to ask you.” Virgil froze at this. “Take your time answering them Virgil.” Emile quickly reassured. “Let’s start with some yes or no questions. Are you planning on hurting yourself right now?” Virgil flinched at his question, but didn’t answer. Emile leaned back in his chair, prepared to wait Virgil out.

“I am just trying to help. You must understand Emile, I swear I just want to help.” Virgil pleaded, finally looking up. His eyes were wet, but he wasn’t crying yet. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt, I was just trying to help.” Virgil pleaded, his voice hoarse but filled with emotions.

“Then explain it to me Virgil, tell what you’re thinking.” Emile prodded gently, leaning forward ever so slightly, eyes boring into Virgil.

“I wanted to help Thomas. I’m getting stronger and stronger. Thomas is listening to me more and more.” Virgil explained, borderline panicked at this point.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Emile asked, not expecting his sudden outburst.

“No!” Virgil snapped. “No! Thomas can’t listen to me! He can’t heed me! He shouldn’t have accepted me! I’m corrupting him! I’m corrupting them all!” Virgil now started to flail again, but was held down by the restraints. That didn’t stop him from trying to escape. Emile shot up to hold him down, Virgil’s eyes filled with panicked tears.

“Easy Virgil, easy.” Emile said, his voice a deadly calm despite his heart beating rapidly. “I can help you Virgil. We can all help you.” His words were calm, having a menial effect on Virgil, but it did have an effect, so he continued. “I understand, I understand your concern.” Emile continued “But this won’t help anyone. This won’t help the other sides, this won’t help Thomas.” He said calmly, holding a flailing Virgil down. It took awhile but Virgil finally calmed down enough to stop flailing, but tears were still streaming down his face. “Are you alright? Would you like to take a break, or would you like some water?” Emile asked softly, and he nodded.

“Y-yes, water would be great.” Virgil’s voice was hoarse, and Emile wasted no time grabbing a bottle of water and opening it. Virgil tried to reach for it, but forgot he was restrained. He looked down at the restraints and frowned. “Will you let me out?” Virgil asked as Emile tilted to bottle into his mouth, Virgil downing the cold liquid quickly. Emile didn’t take the bottle away until it was empty.

“That depends.” Emile mused, getting Virgil’s attention. “If I let you go, do you have a plan to hurt yourself?” Virgil didn’t even hesitate in his answer.

“Emile you have to understand, my job is to help Thomas. I can’t stay here or Thomas will suffer. They all will suffer.” Virgil’s voice wasn’t full on panicking, but he was far from calm and he was getting worse. “Please, please, listen to me, I can’t have this influence over Thomas. The stronger my influence the worse it is for everyone. I’m only doing harm at this point. If I die a weaker anxiety will take my place, I could be easily controlled and suppressed. It would be so much better for everyone.” Virgil spoke his words with so much determination it frightened Emile.

“I understand where you are coming from” His voice was quiet and calm as he spoke, but still a bit shaky “However you are suffering from severe cognitive distortions along with suicidal thoughts.” Virgil’s face dropped at his words, but Emile wasn’t finished. “We all wish to help you, your family wishes to help and so do I. Your current thought process is deeply flawed, and your mind is attacking itself. That’s ok, we are going to help you.” Emile looked at Virgil with a smile, but his face looked strikingly blank.

“No, I’m going to help you. I’m going to help all of you. You don’t understand, but as soon as I can I’ll prove it to you. I’ll prove it to you all.” Not only did the words Virgil spoke fill him with dread, but the flat voice made it so much worse. Emile paled at his confession, now convinced that the situation was far worse than he feared. It would take a long time to help Virgil get out of his own head, to convince him that he wasn’t hurting his family by merely existing.

“Who would you like to talk to first?” Emile asked softly. “Patton? Logan? Janus?” He offered, keeping his voice soft. Virgil thought before responding.

“I don’t care, I don’t want to talk anymore.” He mumbled softly, and Emile nodded before standing up and going to leave the room, but he paused before he left.

“I’ll be back soon Virgil, don’t worry, I’ll get you some help.” He said before leaving the room. Emile wasn’t entirely sure what to do, but he did have a plan of sorts. Step one was to find someone to watch Virgil, and step two was to talk to the creativity twins. They couldn’t just keep Virgil tied down to a bed, but he was still too much of a danger to be left to his own devices. He needed to be put somewhere safe, and Emile needed both creativities to help him with that task.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a little later than I liked, but as I bonus I did post a remake of an old story two days ago. If you like this you might like that.
> 
> If you like please comment below, and if you have any story ideas post them below as well. I love receiving feedback and seeing what people think about my stories.


	11. Chapter Eleven: Lock You Up To Save Your Life

Emile was surprised when he walked into the living room to see everyone was there and asleep, or almost everyone. Logan was wide awake, reading a heavy book silently on the couch with Patton’s head resting on his lap. Janus wasn’t down stairs but the creativity twins were, Roman laying splayed on the couch with Remus in a similar position on the floor, their hand’s linked in each other's grip. Emile was just glad Remus was actually wearing clothes.

“Do you need my help?” Logan asked quietly, his voice just a mere whisper. 

“No, I can wait till Patton is awake. I need the twin’s help as well, but I don’t want to disturb their sleep.” Emile said quietly. Logan just raised an eyebrow, before easily slipping out from under Patton’s head without hesitation, his head falling to the couch with a soft thwump.

“Patton is practically impossible to wake up once he gets into a deep enough sleep. Besides, if we hadn’t learned how to slip out from under him once he falls asleep on you no one would ever be able to get anything done.” Logan said as he stood up. “I presume Virgil is awake?”

“Well yes, and I was hoping to get someone to watch him while I talk to the creativity's. Do you think you could….” His voice pattered off to nothing, but Logan seemed to understand as he nodded.

“I will be able to help. Is their anything I should know?” Logan asked as he stood up, unconsciously brushing nonexistent dirt off his pajama pants.

“He said he’s not in the mood to talk, so just…. Give him some space.” Logan cocked his head at Emile’s wording, prompting him to clarify. “Just don’t try to chat. If he talks to you, that’s great, but I doubt he will.” Logan nodded, seeming to understand completely.

“Well, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. You said you needed the twins right?” Before Emile could stop him Logan let out a shrill and high pitched whistle. Patton didn’t move, but the two creative sides perked up instantly. “Emile needs you.” He said simply, before briskly walking over to Virgil’s room.

“What’s up doc?” Remus asked, catapulting himself into a sitting position, his eyes boring through Emile. “Is Virgil awake?” He asked, and Emile hesitated before responding.

“Well yes.” Before he could continue Roman jumped to his feet.

“He is? Is he awake? Is he hurt?” Roman demanded, storming over to Emile as Remus jumped up to follow, grabbing the therapist by his shoulders and shaking him roughly.

“Yes, yes, he’s fine, physically at least. Emotionally, mentally, well…. There’s something I was hoping you could help me with. Both of you.” Emile said calmly. The twins shared a look between each other, then nodded.

“Of course, but perhaps we could take this to…. Janus’s room?” Roman said, and Emile tilted his head in confusion. “Well Janus is self preservation, he can probably help right? And I don’t want to have this conversation in front of an unconscious person.” He said, becoming to the sleeping Patton. Emile looked over, then nodded in agreement.

“That makes sense, but I don’t wish to wake Janus up if he’s still asleep.” Emile admitted, only to be greeted by a brisk laugh from Remus.

“Trust me, Janny isn’t sleeping right now.” Remus said, his voice an odd tone of hysterical that was a little more high pitched than normal. “Lets go to our snake.” He said, wasting no time on grabbing onto Emiles arm and ducking into Janus’s room without any warning.

The sensation was dizzying and Emile was suddenly glad Remus was holding on when they appeared in Janus’s room. Emile was surprised, expecting Janus’s room to be a bright yellow. Instead the room had forest coloring of dark green with only hints of yellow with a covered canopy bed in the corner. Janus himself was sitting at a half circle desk covered in papers as he was reading an open file. He didn’t even notice the group of three when they appeared. Until Remus spoke, that is.

“Hey hey hey! Your favorite hot mess has arrived!” Remus announced, making Janus lose his com composer for a second and drop the folder before regaining it, adjusting his capelet and standing straight up.

“Well isn’t this just delightful. I take it that Virgil  _ isn’t  _ awake?” Emile, to his credit, only raised an eyebrow at Janus’s knowledge.

“Well yes. I needed the creativity’s help, and they suggested we go to you, as you’re self preservation.” Emile explained. Janus raised an eyebrow but made a beckoning motion with his hand.

“It seems you already have a plan, so please, do share.” Janus’s face was one of an odd excitement, but Remus and Emile could clearly see it was hope. Janus didn’t know what to do, that much was clear. Emile coming here with at least an idea of what to do was a blessing to him.

“Well I will not go into many details here for a variety of reasons, but while Virgil isn’t in immediate physical harm his mental state is quite concerning. He needs to be kept somewhere where he will be unable to harm himself. If he’s left to his own devices I have no doubt he will try again.” Emile continued, ignoring the quiet hiss that came from Janus. “I was hoping you, Roman and Remus, could help…. Create something in the imagination.” Emile paused as he collected his words. “A place where Virgil wouldn’t be able to escape or hurt himself, but would be comfortable enough to live in for a decent amount of time if needed.” Emile finished into a silent room. No one spoke for a long time, simply absorbing his words.

“I can make an apartment of sorts in the imagination, and connect it to the main hall. Do you think that would work?” Roman spoke up nervously, only to be rewarded with Emile’s beaming smile.

“That would be great Roman! That’s exactly what I was thinking of!” Roman smiled sheepishly, slightly embarrassed under Emile’s smiling gaze.

“Well, perhaps once you do that I could take a look around and see if Virgil could use something to harm himself.” Janus offered, as he made his way out from behind his desk, adjusting his outfit as he did so. He walked to his doorway, only to pause when he realized he wasn’t being followed. “Well? Are you coming?” He prompted, before slipping fully into the hall.

The three of them followed Janus’s lead into the main hallway, as he stopped in front of a blank wall in between Roman’s and Remus’s room. “Should this work?” He asked, his voice slightly quieter than before.

“Yes, this should be good.” Roman said, raising his hands as he started to mumble something under his breath. From the blank wall a rainbow colored iridescent door appeared with a lining of black. It looked exactly like the door to the imagination, only it was a single door instead of a double door. “There!” Roman said, before his knees went weak and he promptly fell over. Remus caught him easily, pretty much expecting this reaction to Roman’s use of so much power.

“You good Ro?” Remus asked as his brother was going a little pale. He smiled shakily and nodded. “Good! I’ll go look over the inside with Jan, you can go and lie down!” Remus said cherrily as he helped Roman into his bedroom and on the bed to stop him from collapsing. Roman was out by the time his head hit the pillow, and Remus summoned a heavy quilt to cover him. Janus and Emile watched him, worried, but Remus just waved off their concern. “We both get like that if we use too much energy. Now, Janny, would you like to explore this little piece of creativity with me?” He offered, his face a full smile. Janus just shrugged.

“Of course, isn’t that  _ not  _ why I’m here?” He said, slowly opening the door with a gloved hand. The outer door had a sliver boulder entry handle and the door was surprisingly light. “I hope this isn’t so easy for Virgil to leave.” Janus said, his voice with a slight hint of concern as he stepped inside. 

The inside was actually rather nice looking, similar to a mini apartment. Janus walked into what seemed to be the kitchen, separated from the living room by a half wall, both rooms illuminated by warm lighting. The kitchen had a pleasant dull green wall with a table and four chairs in the center, with a sink and fridge connected by a wooden counter with drawers. There was a tea kettle on the counter with a nice selection of tea’s by it, but there was no oven.

The living room was a soft purple color with soft carpet. The room was small, with both a brown recliner and a brown couch with a few pillows and blankets on it, and in the middle of the room was a small table with a few stimulation toys. By the couch was a small, transparent fridge with water bottles, snacks, and a variety of snack foods in it. There was a bookshelf filled with books and a pile of blankets in the corner. It was pleasantly warm, and there were a few abstract pictures on the walls, but Janus was looking over the place with a more critical eye.

Janus brushed his fingers against the walls and was surprised to find they were made of a soft material like a padded cell. He took a close look at the furniture to see they had no edges or even anything remotely sharp. It was clear Roman had thought a lot of this through, but Janus was still quite paranoid.

“Remus, could you do something about the lights? Make them unbreakable perhaps?” Janus asked, and was only slightly surprised when they disappeared all together, without taking away the light.

Connected to the main rooms were three doors. Two were normal brown doors that had a striking resemblance to Thomas’s bedroom door. However the third door is what caught Janus’s attention. It was heavy, like that of an old library. He pushed it with a surprising ease only to find a bright office covered in cartoons and an office with another door leading out to the hallway that Janus frowned slightly at. Emile couldn't help but let out a squeal.

“This is my office!” He squealed, his face lighting up as he did so. “Remind me to thank your brother, he is a genius!” Emile wouldn’t deny, he felt far more comfortable treating Virgil in his office than anywhere else.

Janus closed the door again, figuring it was safe enough, but jumped back in surprise when the door disappeared into the wall. He opened his mouth to ask, but Remus jumped in to explain.

“Oh that's just a failsafe! Pretty much the doors will fade into the walls unless Ro or me gives you permission! You have it, so just try again!” Janus wasn’t exactly sure, but he put his hand where the handle was, and was quite surprised when it materialized under his grip.

“Is that how you intend to keep Virgil here?” Janus asked, but he was more talking to himself than Remus. Either way Remus nodded rapidly in response.

“Yep! Virge will be safe whether he wants to be or not!” Janus flinched at Remus wording, but continued to look around the room. He opened the drawers in the kitchen to see food, which wasn’t unexpected. He opened another cabinet to see spoons and forks, but no knives, which pleased him. Then he opened the final drawer to see bowls and plates, and frowned. He lifted one of the plates above his head and dropped it on the counter, only to have it shatter in a million sharp ceramic pieces.

“Right, Remus, can you make these unbreakable?” He asked, snapping away the mess. He realized when he just did, and frowned. “Also make sure Virgil doesn’t have any creative powers here.”

“Oooh! Good thinking Dee!” Remus blurted out as he waved his hands in the air, presumably doing something but Neither Emile nor Janus could exactly tell. 

Next Janus opened the first door to look into a luxurious bathroom with a large corner bathtub lined with the finest bath salts and soaps, truly fit for a king. Janus wasn’t happy with this however, seeing dangers everywhere.

“That bath has to go.” He said plainly, wondering why Roman would leave such a big danger around. 

“Oh don’t worry about that, the water in the imagination is breathable.” Remus said excitedly. Emile and Janus both looked at him in confusion, so Remus started to fill the tub up with a surprising speed. Before anyone could stop him Remus jumped into the bath, fully clothed, and sunk to the bottom. He started to speak, but his words were muffled and incomprehensible. Emile dunked a hand into the warm water and grabbed Remus by the collar before pulling him up “-And that's what happened with the kraken!”

“Yes that’s  _ lovely  _ Remus, perhaps we should look into the other room.” Janus said as Remus jumped out of the bath, then shook the water off like a dog, splashing both him and Emile.

The other room was a cozy purple bedroom. The queen sized bed in the middle of the room was covered in fluffy blankets with a black nightstand on it’s right holding a lamp for reading. There were also restraints tucked into the corners but they were well hidden. Before Janus could say anything Remus snapped his fingers and the lamp was replaced with a plastic one that was surprisingly soft to the touch. There was also a closet with enough room to move around in, a desk with notebooks, markers that weren’t sharp at all, and a drawer filled with Virgil’s normal clothes. This peaked Emile’s interest, who thought it was pertinent to speak up.

“I’d like to go through his clothes, make sure their aren’t any drawstrings in his hoodies or pants, for safety reasons.” He said, not bothering to clarify why. The three of them wasted no time opening the drawers and going through the clothes. There were a few hoodies and pants with drawstrings that had to be removed, but most of the clothes had nothing of the sort. They were all soft and comfortable, obviously summoned with care. Most of them were different shades of purple but there were also some blues and printed clothes thrown in for good measure, and a hint of red here and there. Janus wasn’t sure if these were copies of Virgil’s clothes, or if Roman summoned them all from his imagination.

“Thank you for your help, You two have been very cooperative, though I’m sure this is difficult for all of you.” Emile stated. “I would like to remind you that my offer to talk is available for all of you, whenever you might need. I’m here to help, and more than one person can need help at a time.” Like always, the earnestness of the therapist always blew Janus away, especially because he wasn’t a real therapist. He only knew what Thomas knew about therapy, even if it was just subconsciously.

“Thank you. I will tell you if that is necessary for either Remus or I.” Janus stated bluntly as he placed a hand on Remus’s shoulder. “We look after each other. I believe Virgil needs a reminder of that.” Emile didn’t comant, but his face went a little pale. He didn’t want to cross anyone, but the dark sides were at the bottom of that list. They would do anything for those they loved, morals and self-preservation be damned. That’s how they got in the situation in the first place.

The three of them left the room quietly, the dark sides not wanting to risk waking either Patton or Roman, and Emile mentally planning how he would bring everything up to Virgil. Of course both of these things were far from their minds when they heard a low yell from Logan’s room, followed by Virgil dashing out of there like a bat out of Hell. Emile froze. Virgil was the strongest and fastest by far, especially when he was in fight or flight mode.

Virgil looked like he was seconds from dashing down the stairs, but not before Janus jumped in the way, blocking his path. However Emile noticed that he didn’t try to grab or subdue the running side. Remus pushed Emile in front of Roman’s door as Remus himself took a position that blocked off his own room and the rest of the wall. Suddenly Emile realized that they weren’t trying to stop Virgil, they were trying to caroll him.

“Virgil, breath.” Janus commanded halfheartedly, which Virgil ignored as he dashed down the hall. Remus summoned his morningstar, and Emile was quite certain he’d be 100% willing to completely destroy Virgil if he tried to run past. Clearly he knew how to avoid killing him, but it wouldn’t be pleasant.

Virgil’s panicked eyes glanced at Emile and then Remus. Emile was quite certain that he didn’t stand a chance if Virgil tried to push him aside to get into Roman’s room and then the imagination, but if he did try Emile could probably fight him off long enough for one of the others to grab him, right?

Luckily Virgil decided not to, as he rushed towards the door. Perhaps if he was thinking clearly he would have wondered why the imagination was suddenly in the hallway, or wondered why no one was trying to stop or grab him, but he wasn’t. His mind was only in escape mode, and the easiest escape was through the imagination where he could easily find some monstrous beast to kill him, or better yet, he could find a weapon to do it himself.

Virgil threw the door open and jumped inside. Emile shut the door quickly, not wanting to give him a chance to escape. He pushed himself against it, even as it was already locked. For a few seconds no one said anything, until there was howling heard from the other side of the door.

“LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!” Virgil screamed in the tempest tongue, clawing and scratching at the door as he did so.

“I should probably explain this to him, to help him calm down.” Emile said quietly, his voice barely audible above Virgil’s animalistic howling.

“Good idea, there should be a door in Roman’s room that leads to your office.” Remus stated. “I’ll go with you, I don’t know how Virgil will react.” Emile looked at the door where the scratching and howling was clearly audible, and nodded.

“Lead the way”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a bit longer than most, and I hope you enjoyed it! Comment any thoughts or criticism you have below, I always want to improve my writing.


	12. Chapter Twelve: Who Will You Hurt to Run Away

Emile followed Remus into Roman’s room, the latter resting in his bed and barely stirring as they slipped past into the door next to the imagination, that was leading him to Emile’s office. He heard the continuous pounding of Virgil’s fist as they slipped into the mini apartment quietly. Virgil didn’t even seem to see them as he kept pounding and pounding on the wall, the door nowhere to be found. Emile would have stopped him if the walls weren’t so soft and impossible to hurt himself on. They just stayed to the side, letting him tire himself out.

Finally Virgil let out an exhausted sigh and fell to the ground. Emile decided now would be a good time to speak up.

“Hello Virgil. Terribly sorry about all of this.” Emile spoke softly, but his voice made him jump and turn around in shock. Virgil’s eyes were wide and panicked as he froze in fear. Emile continued to speak softly, hoping to calm him down. “I was hoping I would get to explain the situation to you before you ended up here, but I’m afraid things are a bit out of order. I can explain it to you now, if you would like.” Emile offered. 

Virgil stood up quickly with clenched fist and feral eyes. He started to storm over and Emile couldn’t help but instinctively take a step back. Virgil looked like he could tear him limb from limb and Emlie was suddenly glad he wasn’t alone as Remus stepped in front of him before Virgil could get there. Virgil stopped, looked up and down, then let out an angry growl.

“Alright, explain. Where am I? What’s going on?” Virgil demanded, a little calmer, but still furious. Emile stepped out a little from behind Remus, but not all the way.

“Currently you’re an active danger to yourself. We need to keep you safe, so I asked Roman’s help in creating an apartment of sorts in the imagination. It may not be the most pleasant, but it seems to be a better option than tying you to a bed for however long is necessary.” Emile explained, only to be interrupted by Virgil.

“So what? Do you just plan on keeping me here? Till what? Till you can convince me I’m wrong? That I’m wrong about myself, that I’m wrong about Thomas?” Virgil demanded.

“Well, yes.” Emile said curtly, causing Virgil to let out a scream. He grabbed his hair and screamed again. Emile was getting worried and wanted to step forward to help, but Remus grabbed his arm before he could do so as Virgil screamed again.

“Let me go!” Virgil demanded as he kicked the wall, his foot bouncing off of it with ease, which seemed to annoy him even more. 

“I’m sorry Virgil, I’m afraid I can’t do that.” Emile practically whispered, but Virgil heard it loud and clear.

“You can’t keep me here forever!” Virgil screamed as he tried to tear at the wall. Of course it was completely unbreakable, but he was still trying. Emile figured it could be worse, for Virgil wasn’t hurting anyone, and he would tire himself out rather quickly. Once he finally calmed down Emile was quite certain he’d be exhausted once this was over and would sleep for a long time.

“Not forever Virgil, just until you’re safe.” Emile was sure to keep the quiver out of his voice as he spoke, but couldn’t deny he was shaking ever so slightly. He had no idea how Virgil would react. The entire thing was completely new to him. It was new to all of them, but he was supposed to know what he was doing. 

Virgil stared at them for a long time, his expression unreadable before finally hissing “Get out!” Emile thought for a second, before nodding and pulling Remus to the door.

“Arlight Virgil, we’ll be back in thirty minutes. Call for us before then if you need us, or if you just want some company.” He didn’t wait for his response before leaving with Remus through his office, then to the hallway.

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but Janus standing guard in front of Logan’s room, his face a grimace, along with Patton’s frantic words from the room certainly wasn’t it. 

Emile wasn’t sure what was going on but rushed past Janus into the logical side’s room to see Patton sat by the side of a Logan that was sprawled on the floor, his face strewn with pain as Patton was mumbling soft and comforting words.

“What’s wrong?” Emile asked, only then noticing Logan’s legs were twisted in a blanket he’d thrown aside earlier, and the position didn't exactly seem normal.

“It… Wasn’t…. Virgil’s…. Fault…” Logan gasped, clearly in pain. Emile had never seen the logical side as anything other than composed, so this worried him quite severely. “I… Tripped…. He…. Didn’t… Hurt…. Me” Logan explained again, his eyes screwed shut.

“We know Logan, we know.” Patton reassured, running his fingers through Logan’s hair as he spoke. Emile took this opportunity to take a closer look at Logan’s leg to see that it was definitely either twisted or sprained, and clearly causing a lot of pain.

“Alright Logan, this is going to hurt, but you’ll feel better once I get your foot straight.” Emile said as he gently lifted Logan’s leg up. Logan was whimpering the entire time, but didn’t move as Emile readjusted his ankle and unwove it from the blankets. His foot looked slightly inflamed, but not too bad.

“How are you Lo?” Patton asked as he helped sit Logan upright. His face was wet but he looked stoic still, even as he whimpered.

“F-fine, fine. I just need some ice, th-that’s all.” He stuttered as he tried to stand up before Patton picked him up, Logan fully leaning on the fatherly side.

“I’ll help get you to bed, then get some ice.” Patton reassured as he helped Logan hobble to his bedside, before helping him in. “I’ll just be gone for a second.” He reassured softly, giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze before rushing out the door to get some ice.

Logan’s pained eyes finally landed on Emile, a look of guilt on his face. “I-I’m sorry.” He finally stuttered, looking like he was going to cry again. “I didn’t mean t-to let him escape.” 

“Don’t worry about that, Virgil’s safe, don’t worry.” Emile reassured, just trying to avoid Logan breaking down in tears. Still it didn’t seem to be working as Logan kept stammering out apology after apology.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I swear. I t-tried to stop h-him, I did.” Logan cried out, his emotions running wild. The pain in his leg probably didn’t help either as Emile tried to calm him.

“I’m back with!..... Oh dear.” Patton said as he walked into the room and saw Logan’s current state. “Did something happen?” 

“Nothing new.” Emile said as he brushed his fingers through Logan’s hair in an attempt to calm him down. He looked over to Patton to see he not only had ice but also a tray with water, tea, soup, and bread, which he put aside as he went over to join Emile. Logan was starting to sob and tried to get up, but Patton pushed him back gently.

“Don’t try to get up kiddo, just lay back.” Patton said softly with undertones of panic. Logan was still trying to sit up, but he was quite weak still.

“I need, I n-need to help, I should be helping, Virgil needs help.” He stuttered as he started to thrash under Patton’s hands “He needs to b-be ok.” Then it hit Emile. Logan had no idea what had actually happened.

“Logan, it’s fine, he’s safe! We put him in an apartment of sorts in the imagination where he can’t hurt himself. He’s upset about it, but I promise he’s safe.” Emile reasuredd as he helped Patton hold Logan down, hoping this would calm him, but evidently it failed as Logan’s flailing got worse and worse.

“V-Virgil! Virgil! Virgil!” Logan started to scream, flailing violently. Emile quickly realized that he wouldn’t be calmed down. He commanded Patton to hold down his left arm as Emile took his right. Logan tried to get up again, but neither of the two sides let him go. 

Janus peered into the room, attracted by the screams, but he took one look inside and frowned. Logan seemed to be getting worse and worse, his flailing quickly becoming more violent and his words unintelligible. He walked into the room briskly, and grabbed the metal box Remy left on the nightstand without being noticed.

He briefly wondered what would be best for the situation, before deciding on the blue one. He lifted it up in the light, allowing Logan to take a look.

“Logan, this is going to calm you down, alright? Currently you’re in danger of hurting yourself. Do you understand?” Janus asked, his voice flat and not showing any emotions. Logan’s eyes landed on the syringe, but he didn’t seem to hear Janus’s words. His eyes were wide in panic, his mouth spewing gibberish as he screamed. Janus sighed, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to calm him down naturally.

He grabbed Logan’s left wrist, and with Patton’s help he lined the syringe up with a vein before plunging the needle inside and pushing down on the plunger.

The results were far quicker than Janus expected. After a few more moments of fighting Logan’s wrist went limp in Janus’s hand, the same for Emile. Logan's face went blank as his breathing slowed down rapidly.

“I am sorry Logan, can you understand me?” Janus asked softly. It took a second, but Logan nodded, his eyes half lidded but seemingly still understanding everything that was being said. “Virgil is safe, you are safe, everyone is safe. Do you understand?” Again, Logan nodded. “You hurt your leg, you need to rest it. Do you understand?” Janus asked, to be rewarded by another nod.

“Can I sleep?” Logan asked in a tired voice. Patton offered him a gentle smile as he caressed his hair.

“That would be best Logan.” Patton said quietly. Only a few seconds later Logan’s eyes fluttered shut as he fell into a shallow sleep. Patton was starting to get worried. That was Logan’s third breakdown this day. It could be chocked up to stress and exhaustion, sure, but it clearly shouldn’t be ignored. 

Emile let out a sigh of relief as Logan finally fell asleep. The logical side could have easily hurt himself in that state, which would have made things so much worse. In fact Emile would have to be sure word of Logan’s twisted ankle didn’t get back to Virgil. While Emile was not one to hide things, Virgil didn’t need any extra guilt, and he wasn’t sure how he’d react in his fragile state.

“Thank you Janus.” He said. Janus only responded with his classic mischievous smirk and a slight tilt of his head.

“No problem.” Janus then turned to Remus, who was waiting outside the room, concern plastered on his mustached face. “He’s asleep Remus, don’t worry.” Remus nodded softly, before looking at Emile.

“It’s been awhile. The apartment has gone quiet, should we check on Virgil?” Remus asked. Emile thought for a second, before nodding.

“Yes, we should."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mondays suck but fanfic is awesome aslo I am very dizzy right now byt its not the covid


	13. Chapter Thirteen: A Lack of Options

Emile asked Remus to stay outside to give Virgil some room. He protested but eventually agreed to just stay outside, though he did warn Emile to scream if Virgil somehow turned violent, but Emile found it unlikely.

When he came into the apartment things were clearly different, if just barely. All of the drawers were wide open, and the blankets were all gathered in the center of the living room. It took Emile a second to notice that Virgil was in the pile of blankets with only his head popping out like an upset gopher. 

He was still quite distraught, but far more exhausted than angry. Emile stepped into the living room and Virgil finally noticed he was in the room, looking at Emile with wet, bloodshot eyes. Emile’s heart twisted at the sight of him, but he put on a smile anyway to try and get him to relax.

“Hello Virgil. How are you feeling?” He asked. Virgil mumbled something incoherent before giving a response.

“Tired.” He simply said. Emile realized very quickly that he would be doing most of the talking here.

“Alright, how about you give me a number to gauge your current state. How does that sound?” Virgil nodded, but didn’t move from his spot on the floor as Emile sat down on the couch and summoned a notepad. “One means your completely overjoy, while ten means you’re activally trying to kill yourself. Where are you right now?”

Virgil’s voice was so soft Emile barely heard it. “Nine” he mumbled, causing Emile to grimace. Nine was not good.

“Do you currently have a plan?” Emile asked, taking notes as he did so. Virgil snorted.

“No, but not for lack of trying.” Emile was suddenly really glad that he made sure this apartment was so secure. From what Virgil was saying he would definitely take any opportunity that was presented to him, and the only reason he doesn’t have a plan is because he can’t come up with one.

“If I let you out, right now, would you have a plan?” He asked, and Virgil didn’t hesitate in his reply.

“Yes” He spoke so quickly Emile wasn’t even certain he knew what he was saying. He won’t deny that the response shook him, but he knew better than to show it. He still needed his questions answered.

“I know this is difficult for you, and I want to thank you for your honesty, I am here to help.” Virgil mumbled something quite rude under his breath but Emile ignored it. “I now have a few questions about your physical health. When was the last time you ate?” He knows he asked this before, but he was hoping Virgil would be tired enough to give an actual answer.

“Dunno. Yesterday maybe, or the day before. It was late.” Emile couldn’t see Virgil’s body, but he knew he would have to check him over later. 

Before then approximately how many calories did you have each day?” Virgil hummed for a second before responding.

“I don’t really know.” Emile figured he would have to ask the others about Virgil’s eating habits later

“And how much sleep do you get every night?” Emile couldn’t quite be sure, but it seemed like Virgil shrugged.

“Four. Sometimes six.” Emile took note of this, resolving that they’d have to fit his sleeping schedule as well.

“And when is the last time you slept?” Virgil just stared at Emile blankly.

“I have no fucking idea.” At this point Emile wasn’t sure what issue would need to be solved first, his physical state or his mental one. If they tried to solve his physical state Virgil might not be very cooperative about it, but if they tried to help his mental state he wouldn’t even have the energy to do so. No, the answer was simple. Virgil couldn’t hurt himself here, and his physical state is most likely detrimental to his mental state. He’d have to get better physically.

“Are you tired Virgil? There is a bed if you’d like to rest.” Virgil nodded, but made no attempt to move. Emile slowly unwrapped Virgil from his blanket cocoon. As soon as it came undone Virgil simply just flopped to the floor, utterly exhausted. Emile didn’t even try to get him to stand, instead opting to pick him up. Virgil was far too light, but it meant it was easy for him to get Virgil into the bedroom and on the bed.

Virgil’s eyes were completely vacant as Emile tucked him in, but he didn’t close his eyes, even as Emile went to turn off the light.

“Would you like to be left alone?” Virgil nodded, but didn’t seem to be all there. Emile hoped it was a sign he was losing the battle to sleep, but he doubted it.

Emile left to the hallway only to find a panicking Patton wringing his fingers, and a Remus who was sitting on the ceiling above the door, his face in a pout. “Well? How is he?” Patton asked nervously. Emile gave him a sad smile.

“Well, he’s currently safe.” Emile said, though that didn’t seem to alleviate anyones worry. “And he should be asleep soon enough, so that should help. I’ve gotten some information out of him, but he wasn’t very talkative. I’ll try later.” 

“What did you learn? Can you tell us?” Patton asked nervously, and only then did Emile notice Janus peering out from behind his door.

“Usually doctor patient confidentiality is my first concern.” Emile started. Patton opened his mouth to speak, but Emile put his hand up to stop him. “However, that is only if my patient isn’t a threat to himself. There is quite a bit to discuss. We may want to get somewhere more comfortable first.” Everyone grimaced at that, as Remus flipped off the ceiling flawlessly.

“I was worried about that. The living room, shall we?” Janus said promptly, beckoning towards said room before wandering away and out of sight. Emile followed, and Patton and Remus were not far behind. Janus sat on a recliner, his stature completely dignified. Patton made himself comfortable on the couch, fidgeting nervously. And Remus just plopped on the floor, sprawling out and perching his head on his arms like a teenage girl in a movie.

Emile made his way to the couch, and sat down nervously, giving himself some distance between him and Patton. 

“So? How bad is it?” Patton asked softly. Emile let out a sigh as he tried to figure out how he would explain.

“There are two problems right now, Virgil’s physical health, and his mental health.” Emile started to explain. Janus was staring intently, and Patton kept nodding. Remus seemed to be paying attention, but Emile could never truly tell. “He hasn’t been sleeping or eating, which is probably affecting his mental state. The main concern is getting him up to a healthy weight, and trying to get his sleep schedule back to semi-normal.” Emile explained. The room was silent for a long time, as everyone absorbed the news. Janus spoke up first.

“Well, I am not surprised.” He started quietly. “And I am also quite thankful that you’re here, we would be completely out of our depth. We still are, but at least now we have some life vests for when we try and swim.” He mumbled that last part, but it was definitely heard.

“I know I’m not good with mental health, but if there’s anything I can do to help, just ask and I’ll do anything I can do to help.” Patton said softly, reaching over to pat Emile’s hand in a comforting motion.

“Me Too! Me Too!” Remus blurted out “Tell me if you need anything summoned or murdered! I’ll try and keep things normal.” Remus started to shake, his face plastered with a psychotic smile. 

“That’s great, thank you all so much.” Emile whispered, leaning over in exhaustion. “Now, lets get planning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things have been busy and I'm not sure how sustainable my upload every Monday schedule will be :( Don't worry, that's a problem for the future, it's just the chapters are getting longer and with school I haven't been making the progress I should. Still, don't worry about it, it's a long ways away.


	14. Chapter Fourteen: The Ticking Clock is Seconds Behind

No one was very talkative afterwards, but Emile did at least feel better knowing there was some sort of plan to help Virgil, at least physically. There was a food plan, and Patton was already stress making all the foods Emile so much as mentioned Virgil might eat. Emile would usually discourage that sort of behavior, but it seemed to calm him down.

Remus was apparently watching over his brother, and Janus was in his room, probably reading any psychology books he had laying around. Emile decided to make camp in Logan’s room, who was sound asleep, which was good. Still, Emile was quite concerned about him. After talking to Patton it was clear that Logan wasn’t far far from a breakdown of his own.

Emile was organizing his notes when Logan started to stir. Emile put his notes aside and looked at the logical side intently. He didn’t rise from sleep easily or quickly. He stirred slightly, then stilled, then stirred, then stilled. The entire time his brows were creased and his mouth was in a tight frown. Even in dreams he couldn’t rest.

Finally his brown eyes fluttered open, though he looked around in confusion. It took a few seconds for him to realize where he was, and a few more to see Emile was with him. He sat up suddenly in his bed, his eyes wide and startled. Of course Emile noticed, but he decided not to mention it. Instead, he greeted Logan with a gentle smile.

“Hello Logan, glad to see you’re awake. How are you feeling?” Emile asked kindly, not letting any of the worry creep into his voice. Logan blinked in confusion.

“Fine? I th-think? My leg hurts.” Logan mumbled, still a bit unsure. Emile supposed there was still some residue from the sedative Janus had to use.

“What do you remember?” He asked, leaning forward to listen. Logan rubbed his head, taking a moment to remember.

“Well Virgil ran, I tried to catch him, tripped, and oh-” His face dropped as the memories returned, and he looked down in shame. “That happened.” He mumbled.

“I’m glad you remember everything. I was worried you wouldn’t even remember what happened with Virgil after your mental breakdown.” Emile said matter of factly with a frown. “But I’m still concerned.”

“Mental breakdown? I’m s-sorry, I don’t understand.” Logan tried to keep his voice calm and still, but he stuttered and gripped his blanket tightly.

“Perhaps that isn’t the right word, but when I talked to Patton he confirmed that you had two more of them before I even got here. Either way, I have a right to be concerned.” Emile watched Logan’s reaction carefully. His face turned red, and he looked away even more.

“I think it would be more of a nervous breakdown.” Logan mumbled, clear enough for Emile to hear.

“Well what do you mean by that?” Emile tried to coax softly. At first Logan shrugged, but Emile stayed silent. The awkwardness seemed to get to Logan to finally forfeit an answer.

“My actions were caused by stress and anxiety. Not Virgil, but my own anxiety. Therefore it would be a nervous breakdown, not a mental breakdown.” Logan explained, but he still seemed a little uneasy. “I still don’t believe it counts as a break down either way, I was merely upset.” 

Emile hummed in contemplation as he tilted his head. Logan was definitely downplaying what had happened, and was most likely still in a great state of distress. But this was Logan, if Emile tried to force him to talk he would simply shut down.

“Well, be as that may, I would like to remind you that my offer to talk is still standing, and I think you should take it.” Emile said calmly, causing Logan to look at him like he had two heads.

“I thought the offer was only for the others?” Logan stated in confusion, causing Emile to frown slightly.

“The fact that you see yourself as an ‘outsider’ is quite concerning.” Emile started. “Patton and Janus are already quite worried about you, and so am I. While I am not going to force you to do anything, you seem to be under an unhealthy amount of stress. I’m sure the incident with Virgil didn’t help, and at the very least you seem to need some time to vent. I can give you that.” Emile wasn’t sure how Logan would react to his offer, but he had to try. If this didn’t work Emile would try to convince the other sides to keep their eyes on Logan, but he didn’t want to put any of them under added pressure. 

Logan let out a sigh as he slouched. It was so different compared to his usual posture Emile thought for a second that he was falling over. He looked up at Emile, his eyes meeting Emile’s brown ones, looking utterly exhausted.

“You promise the other sides won’t have to know what I say? You won’t tell them?” Logan asked, sounding somewhat scared.

“Unless someone's life is in danger, no one has to know you’re even seeing me. Doctor patient confidentiality is something I swear to.” Emile said, more serious than Logan had ever seen before.

Logan sighed “You are not wrong. I have been quite stressed for quite awhile. I haven’t been sleeping that much lately or taking care of myself as I should. Perhaps It would be nice to talk to you.” Emile smiled at this.

“That’s great Logan. Would you like to set up a schedule now, or would you like to play it by ear?”

“We can set up a schedule, perhaps Wednesday’s and Monday’s?” Logan asked with a yawn. “Would it be alright if we work out the details later? I’m a bit tired.” Logan said as he leaned back on his bed. 

Emile merely smiled at him. “That’s fine. Get some rest Lo.” he said softly as he readjusted Logan’s blanket, turned the lights off, and quietly closed the door.


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Spider Webs to Catch a Willing Prey

Emile was unamused but unsurprised at the amount of work that faced him as a sudden therapist to all the sides. Virgil was still resting quite a bit, and was hardly awake or aware. When he was Emile tried to coax him into eating, which was only sometimes successful. Patton would not sit down for too seconds, busing himself with anything that could be done. Janus had to stop him from repainting the common room once. The twins were starting to fuse accidentally, neither seemed to enjoy it, and Logan was starting to completely shut down.

Of course things weren’t quite as bad as Emile made it sound. While Patton seldom rested he had no qualls about talking while he worked. If anything he talked more, and he was brutally honest, and often someone had to drag him away from doing the dishes because he became a blubbering mess but still tried to keep working.

The twins constant fusion was getting a bit tricky, but even that wasn’t unmanageable. Emile was concerned that if they kept fusing they would form the King again and Roman and Remus would be no more, but he was quickly told by Janus that that wasn’t how things worked. Unless Thomas went through a monumental change, sides cannot be formed, destroyed, or majorly altered in any way. Besides the occasional fights after fusing the twins seemed alright, even after Emile talked to them both separately just to make sure.

Virgil wasn’t doing better, but he wasn’t doing worse. Emile wanted to talk to him, but Virgil wasn’t up to it. Of course only a few days have passed, and he was hardly ever awake. There was still plenty of time to help.

Janus seemed fine, though he was repeatedly flashing Emile ‘This is what I have to deal with everyday looks’ whenever they had all the other sides together. Emile was actually suspicious when Janus seemed to be unaffected, especially because he was such a good liar. When Emile brought this up Janus just looked confused. “Of course I’m affected” he explained “But despite being a little shaken up I am fine. My mental health had the strongest foundation out of all the others. A little shaking won’t topple it. But if it would make you feel better, I can check in occasionally.” Janus offered. Emile said that wasn’t going to be necessary, but if he needed to Emile’s door was always open to him.

It was Logan who he was concerned about the most. Yes, Logan had agreed to talk to him twice a week, but that didn’t mean things were going well. Logan was barely talking to the other sides at all, and when talking to Emile his responses seemed candid and pre-planned. If fact, that’s what Emile was trying to do right now, get Logan to talk.

It was around 3 O’Clock on Wednesday, the normal time for their sessions. They both sat comfortably in Emiles office, right by Virgil’s apartment. Emile had a notepad out, but it didn’t seem like he would be needing it, with how little Logan actually saying to him.

“How have you been feeling?” Emile asked. Logan merely shrugged.

“Fine.”

“How has work been?”

“Fine.”

How have you been sleeping?”

“Fine.” Logan responded again, and Emile had to bite back a groan. It was like this for thirty minutes. Emile wanted to force him to talk somehow, but knew he couldn’t. Even if he could, there is no way that would end well.

“Have you been researching anything fun?” Emile tried to go with something lighter. Logan always loved to rant about whatever topics he found interesting, but hasn’t been doing that lately either.

“No.” Logan said, his voice flat and without emotion. Emile couldn’t help himself from running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“Listen, Logan, I’m worried about you. You’ve been shutting down. These sessions are here to help you, but I can’t do that if you won’t talk.” Emile explained. “You don’t have to tell me anything secret, but at least talk.” 

Logan let out a sigh. “Things have been… Stressful lately. When things get stressful I often work to try and fix the problem. But I can’t do that now.” Logan stated frustrated. Emile started taking notes. “I’m not good with people. I don’t know how I can help Virgil, but I hate being helpless.”

Emile nodded intently, not wanting to cut Logan off. Logan continued. “I am not great right now, but Everyone else seems to be handling things worse. I am just stressed, that is all-” Logan was cut off by a crashing sound from behind the apartment.

“What was that?” Logan asked as he shot up, and threw the door open. Emile rushed after him, not sure what was going on but knowing there is no way it could be good. The living room and kitchen was empty, so Emile rushed to the bedroom door and tried to push it open, but he was promptly stopped by something blocking the door. He shoved it again but it didn’t budge.

“Move!” Logan commanded, practically shoving him aside as he placed his hand on the door. Logan, being an actual side unlike Emile, had power in the imagination as long as one of the twins allowed it. Neither of them were sure what was blocking the door but Logan got rid of it easily, before kicking the door down.

Emile let out a gasp when he saw Virgil, who had managed to tie a charging cord on the bar in his closet and hang himself on it. His eyes were bulged and his face was twisted in an expression of fear as he kicked wildly.

Emile rushed forward, ignoring Virgil’s kicking, and grabbed him by the waist before hoisting him up. Virgil let out a panicked gasp as he finally got some air in him, his breathing heavy and quick. Logan vanished the cord, causing Virgil to slump over in Emile’s arms and cough violently as he came to.

Emile wasn’t very strong, and stumbled over to the bed as Virgil started to sob. “I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry, I d-didn’t mean it, I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t breath, please I’m s-sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean that, th-thank you thank you, I’m sorry.” Virgil sobbed as he gripped tightly on Emile’s sweater, refusing to let go. Emile had no idea what to do besides shush him softly and rub his back.

Logan stood to the side, frozen. He didn’t know what to do, nor how to help. He was supposed to be the smart one, the one with all the answers. 

“I’m going to get s-someone.” He stammered before stumbling out of the room and out of the apartment into the hall. He ran into Patton and Roman first, both looking at him with worried expressions. 

“V-Virgil, the c-cord, his neck” Logan stammered, making very little sense but somehow getting his point across as Patton’s eyes went wide in realization, even though Roman’s expression switched to confusion.

“Right, Roman, calm Logan down. I’m going to go help Emile and Virgil.” Patton said sternly, pushing him gently into Roman’s arms as he tried to regain his composure, before rushing off to the apartment.

“Hey specs, I got you. Mind trying to explain?” Roman asked, holding Logan in a tight hug as he started to cry.

“Virgil h-hang, h-hung, tried to hang h-himself.” Logan finally got out as Roman’s arms went stiff around him. “W-we got him d-down, but his neck is bruised. B-badly.”

“It’s ok Lo, you did well.” Roman sounded unsure, but swayed gently in an attempt to get the Logical side to calm down. “He’s alive, you saved him, you did what you could.” Roman said, but Logan felt doubt. He could have done more, he could have been more helpful, he could have done  _ something  _ useful.

Virgil was alive and getting help from the others, and Logan helped save his life. So why did he feel so useless?


	16. Chapter Sixteen:

Logan paced the outside of the door to Emile’s, not daring to say anything. Patton peared at him, worried, but he ignored him. Logan couldn't believe he had been so selfish and self-absorbed. Virgil was the one who needed help right now, not him. Emile was here for Virgil, not him. How dare he be so selfish? How dare he waste Emile’s time with his own insecurity when Virgil and the others needed his help?

The door to the office slowly swung open, nearly hitting Logan. If Emile was surprised to see Logan waiting by the door like a lost puppy he didn’t show it.

“Hello Logan. Where is everyone else?” Emile said, his voice sounding tired. Logan was certain he was annoyed at him, and he didn’t blame Emile.

“I’m here, the twins are the kings again, and Janus is in the living room. Should I get them?” Patton spoke up, surprisingly calm but still quite worried.

“No, no, I’ll just tell you and I can work things out later.” Emile started “Virgil is more awake now, and I’m going to start having sessions with him every day. I also think it would be good for him to get visitors now, but we have to be careful. We don’t want to overwhelm him.”

“Can I go see him right now?” Patton asked, wringing his hands as he did so. Emile thinks for a second, before nodding.

“It would probably be good for him actually. Just be careful not to overwhelm him. He is still a bit upset right now.” Emile told him. Patton gave him a quick hug, before leaving to go see Virgil. He then turned to Logan. “Logan, I’m sorry about our session. I was thinking-” Logan cut him off.

“I would like to apologize as well. I am sorry for wasting your time, and it would be best to cancel any future sessions so you no longer need to waste your time.” Logan stated bluntly.

Emile opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened his mouth, then closed it again. What Logan had just said was quite concerning, for a lot of different reasons. Emile wasn’t even sure where to start. But Logan had already turned away, leaving him by himself. 

Emile was already planning to bring this up to him later, as he was still concerned. Logan had a habit of getting stuck in his own head, which could not be good. He was already putting himself under an immense amount of pressure, and he would eventually break.

Meanwhile Logan was rushing to his room in a panic. He had no idea why he was panicking. Virgil was fine, he was alright, he was alive. He’d been fine for the last 30 minutes, so why was he panicking? Especially now, the danger has passed.

He dove under the blankets, shaking. It was all too bright, too loud, too much. Logically he knew he was suffering from sensory overload which was worsened by his panic, but he couldn’t think about that now. He couldn’t think at all.

He started to scratch at his arms, desperate for something to stop his spiralling thoughts. His fingers dug into his skin, leaving behind angry red lines that he couldn’t see under the blankets. His nails dug deeper and deeper until they broke skin, droplets of red blood staining his arms and sheets.

He didn’t even realize that it was working till his breathing started to slow and his brain started to focus. He was alright. Virgil was alright. There was no need to panic, no one was in danger.

His arms were aching and he looked down, only to wince at the mess he made. His arms were covered in angry scratches, a few of them bleeding. 

His main concern was getting them cleaned, then hiding them. The other’s would probably panic if they saw his scratches, but it was fine. He was calm now, he was okay, he was fine.

As he made his way to the faucet and turned it on, letting cold water wash over his scratches, he briefly realized that having a panic attack and started to scratch himself to the point of bleeding was probably concerning, but he dismissed it. The word 'self-harm’ came to mind but he laughed it off. Virgil was the one who was hurting himself, who was in danger. He was fine.

The redness of his skin died down quickly, and the bleeding stopped even quicker. He examined his arms and was quite happy to see that they were barely noticeable. With a little more time they would fade completely. Still, it was foolish to scratch his arms up like that. He was panicking, and wasn’t thinking things through, leading him to make a very bad decision.

If there was a next time he would scratch at his legs. Much less noticeable.

He let out a sigh as he returned to his desk. He didn’t have time to feel sorry for himself. He had work he had to do for Thomas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, It's going to be a hot mess but in about a month I'll legally be allowed to get wasted in Europe!
> 
> Nevermind that I don't live in Europe, or even close to it.


	17. Chapter Seventeen: The Patience of a Saint

“Hey Virge. Do you mind that I’m here?” Patton asked sweetly as he eased himself into the apartment. Virgil was curled up on the couch, drowning in blankets. Tear tracks were clearly staining his face, but he had stopped crying and was just still. His foggy eyes looked over at Patton. For a second Patton was worried he didn’t realize what was going on, but Virgil nodded at him and patted the empty couch cushion next to him. 

“I know you might not feel the same way, but I’m glad you're here. I’m glad you’re alive. We all are kiddo.” Patton said with an uncharacteristic seriousness as he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Virgil looked at him with eyes that looked fogged over and empty. For a second Patton was worried he didn’t know what was going on but his brilliant brown eyes shown through as he started crying.

“Virgil?” Patton asked as Virgil practically dove into the fatherly side, sobbing as he did so. “No no no, hush, I’m here Virge, don’t worry.” Patton reassured softly, brushing his fingers through his hair and rubbing his back, hoping to calm him at least a little.

Patton wasn’t sure how long Virgil was crying, or how long he sat comforting. It could have been five minutes or thirty, but eventually Virgil calmed down to mere sniffles. Patton ignored how wet his shirt was getting as it was clear Virgil needed a good cry.

“I’m sorry.” Virgil eventually whined, not looking at Patton as he spoke. Patton was having none of it.

“Don’t apologize. You’ve done nothing to apologize for.” Patton told him softly but sternly. “I just came over to see if I could help you.” Virgil didn’t respond and kept looking away. “What are you thinking kiddo?”

“I…” Virgil spoke as if it was a great effort to form each word. “I’ve been feeling... Not myself lately. Not anyone really, just kind of there. It’s not sadness per say. There’s some sadness but it’s rare. I’ve been feeling worthless, anxious, and sometimes sad. I’ve been failing. Failing Thomas, failing you, failing myself.” Virgil let out a choking sob, but continued. “I just thought it would be better this way. For everyone.”

Virgil started sobbing as Patton wrapped his arms around his shaking form. “Let it out kiddo. I’m here.” Virgil let out another dry sob as Patton summoned a water bottle for him, which he downed eagerly.

“Virgil this might be hard to answer, but please don’t lie.” Patton said softly as he stared into Virgil’s tear filled eyes. “But I want to know if you think you’ll try again.”

Virgil stayed silent for a long time. “I don’t know.” He finally conceded, looking away. “When I was hanging, choking, I was terrified. It hurt and the fact that I might die hit me, but I couldn’t do anything. I was actually glad when Emile and Logan came running you know?” Virgil let out a weak laugh. “I don’t think I’ll try hanging again, but I still feel so utterly useless and I just don’t know.” He was quiet for a few seconds. “You don’t… Hate me, do you?” Virgil sounded so small it made Patton’s heart break.

“No kiddo, no. I could never hate you. I know it’s hard right now, but I hope one day I’ll be able to convince you of that.” Patton reassured, placing a quick kiss on Virgil’s forehead.

They were both quiet for a long time, content to just exist in each other's orbit as the time passed by. There wasn’t any window and the clock was in the kitchen so neither side knew how much time had passed, but they could tell it had been a while when Virgil let out a yawn.

“Do you need some rest?” Patton asked, adjusting the blanket to make him more comfortable. Virgil shook his head.

“Emile said I should try and get back to a normal sleeping pattern. He also told me that all this sleep could be making me worse, so I should probably stay awake.” He finally looked up to Patton with nervousness. “Will you stay with me? At least for a little longer?” Patton’s smile brightened up the drab apartment.

“Of course. I’ll stay here as long as you need. Oh! Quick question! What do you call a fake noodle?” Virgil gave him a hesitant look.

“I’m not sure?”  
“An impasta!” Patton blurted out, earning a weak chuckle from Virgil. It wasn’t his best pun, but it was something. He spent the rest of the night making bad puns and telling cheesy dad jokes. Even he knew they weren’t his best, but they got a few smiles and the occasional laugh or two as the time passed.

Virgil loudly yawned as he started to doze off, curling up against Patton’s warm body. Patton stretched his neck to look at the clock and see it was 8:37. “Hey kiddo, are you ready to go to bed?” Patton asked. Virgil didn’t say much as he nodded, his eyes already slipping shut. 

“Alright kiddo, up we go.” Patton said as he helped sit Virgil off. He rubbed his eyes, gave Patton a smile, and stood up quickly.

He didn’t even realize what was going on as he stood and his vision blurred. He hardly realized that he was on the ground until Patton was already screaming for help, but by then he was too out of it to acknowledge what was going on as he slipped into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this turned out ok. I didn't really have the energy to read over it, cause I'm most certainty sick. It's probably not Covid, but if I just stop updating all of my stories for some reason then I'm most likely dead. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!


	18. Chapter Eighteen: Just on the Tounge

“Patton, I’m fine, really. You don’t have to worry.” Virgil reassured the borderline panicking Patton as he fussed over the anxious side. Virgil wasn’t unconscious for more than a few seconds, but it was enough time for Logan, Emile, and Janus to rush over. They all seemed quite worried, but Logan was worst of all. He was shaky and pale, most likely expecting to walk in on another attempt.

Janus got him some cold juice to sip on as Logan insisted on doing a check-up. He even pulled out a lab coat and stethoscope, checking Virgil’s heart and lungs. As the examination wore on Logan’s own panic faded away as he calmed down. Virgil almost felt bad that he was in such a state, but at least fainting wasn’t entirely his fault.

“So you say you were tired and going to bed, just before fainting, correct?” Logan asked, tutting as he lifted up Virgil's arm and took his pulse.

“I think so. I got lightheaded and I was suddenly on the floor, looking up.” Virgil explained, scratching his head.

“You just fell! It was like you didn’t have any muscles or bones! You just collapsed! Oh Virge I was so worried!” Patton panicked as Janus started rubbing his back to comfort him.

“Well your pulse is slightly elevated, but not to the point that it should have caused you to pass out. You’ve been sleeping a lot lately, correct?” Logan asked.

“Yes. I just got a little lightheaded. I’ve been feeling lightheaded these past few days, but this is the first time I actually passed out.” Virgil explained. Logan frowned at Virgil as he analized his arm and neck.

“Tiredness, emotional distress, lightheadedness, quickened pulse, I think I have an idea on what the issue is. Virgil, have you been eating?” Logan asked.

Virgil opened his mouth in an O of realization. “I have not.” He said with a click of his tongue.

“Virgil!” Emile scolded “No wonder you’ve been so exhausted!”

“I doubt you are wrong. Emile please grab something small for Virgil to eat. Patton, Janus, Virgil needs to relax before bed. Their has been a lot of excitement and Virgil needs to get to bed soon or his schedule might get even more screwed up. So if you could…?” He gestured at the door causing the two sides to get the hint and leave, ending up with only Logan and Virgil in the room.

It was quiet for a few moments, before Logan nervously spoke up. “I know this might be uncomfortable, but why did you stop eating? You’ve been struggling for a while, and I only wish to help. It may be too personal-” Virgil cut Logan off with a wave.

“No, it’s ok. I didn’t really think about it continuously, it was just a thing that happened. When I started feeling bad I just ate less, and it helped me stay alert. It kinda worked as a distraction, but I guess I’ve just been feeling so shitty I forgot to even eat. That's probably not healthy though.” Virgil laughed nervously as Logan made a noise of confirmation, even though he wasn’t really listening.

Would that work? Would that help? Not eating? Virgil said it kept him alert and distracted him. It wouldn't really hurt to try it at least, and that way Logan would waste less time eating so he could work even harder.

“Careful, I don’t want to drop this.” Emile stated as he kicked the door open, balancing a tray with food awkwardly. He tip-toed carefully to the table where he finally placed it down with a sigh. It was a simple cheese platter with crackers and apple slices, and a refill of juice for Virgil.

“Thanks Emile, that looks great.” Virgil said politely as he started nibbling on a cracker. The therapist smiled, before turning to Logan.

“I think I’ve got this. You probably haven’t had dinner yet, and I think Patton still has a lot of leftovers, so you might want to grab something.” Emile said casually, but Logan got the hint that he was being dismissed.

Logan said his goodbyes before slipping out of the room. Janus and Patton were sitting at the table in the only spots that were not covered in baked goods. Patton was chewing on a muffin when he saw Logan, his eyes lighting up.

“Logan! Come and join us!” Patton shouted with a lot of gesturing motions. Janus looked up from his own meal, a roll stuffed with meat, and gave him a sly smile.

Despite himself Logan couldn’t help but smile. “I thank you for your offer, but I must refuse. I have work to finish.” Patton gave him an exaggerated frown with puppy dog eyes. 

“Logan please? I made so much food, I don’t want it to go to waste.” Even Logan could tell that Patton was joking, but Logan felt a pang of guilt anyway. He scanned the table and quickly felt overwhelmed with the amount of food. Without thinking he grabbed a random cookie.

“I’ll eat this in my room.” Logan compromised, causing Patton to beam.

“At least it won’t go to waste!” He said with a giggle, before turning back to Janus to continue their previous conversation.

Logan walked to his room dizzly, unaware of his footsteps. He looked down at the cookie, only to see it was almond. He didn’t like almonds and could hardly stand the smell. He tossed the cookie into his wastebasket without a second thought. He didn’t want to return to the common room and didn’t want to talk to anyone nor eat anything. 

Patton thought he ate the cookie, so would it really make a difference? Logan let out a sigh as he sat at his desk. He had work to do.


	19. Chapter Nineteen: Promise Me A Taste

Everyone was careful, walking on eggshells, but things had finally calmed down. Despite himself Virgil seemed to be doing well, he had gained weight, gotten his sleep schedule at least a little bit on track, and was starting to be a bit more honest with Emile. Emile wouldn’t tell the other sides what he said, and they didn’t ask, but he seemed quite pleased every time he left one of their sessions so they assumed it went well.

In fact after a month or so Emile called a meeting to talk about Virgil moving back into the common area.

“I’d still appreciate it if Virgil was to sleep in the apartment for the time being, but I think it would be good for him to spend some time out in the commons, with everyone else.” Emile explained with a smile. Patton couldn’t help but let out a happy squeal. They all seemed delighted, and even Logan was smiling, something that was concerningly rare.

“Aww, was hot topic complaining about being bored?” Roman teased, but he was beaming as well. He had visited Virgil many nights with Disney movies and snacks, and was noticing a change for the better. Things weren’t quite back to normal, but Virgil was snarking at the TV again and they were having friendly debates over the movies and characters.

“A little, but I haven’t told him yet. I just wanted to make sure everyone was on the same page.” Emile said.

“Well I have already examined his room, and their doesn’t seem to be anything dangerous laying around. Though I’m sure if their were signs of self harm Logan would have told us after his examination.” Janus said slyly. Logan suddenly went frigid, but it went mostly unnoticed.

“Janus is correct.” He said quietly. Janus lifts an eyebrow at his tone but doesn't say anything about it.

“Woo-who! I can harass him again!” Remus cackles, causing Roman to throw a pillow at him from across the couch. 

“It actually would be good if you didn’t treat him like he was fragil, However I will ask you to be careful Remus. Avoid any sort of blood or weaponry please.” Emile tells Remus carefully, who just rolls his eyes.

“Do you think I’m stupid or something?” Remus then paused and thought. “Well I am, but not that stupid.” Roman let out a scoff in repy, but Janus shot him a glare before he could say more.

“Will their be any sort of monitoring?” Logan asked weakly, nervously toying with his thumbs.

“Yes, therapy will continue but the schedule may be changed. With all six of us around I’m sure nothing else will be needed. However if his behavior becomes concerning we may talk about other necessary steps made to keep him safe.” Emile explained, as the other side nodded along in agreement.

“That sounds great! I can’t wait to get him back!” Patton said with pride as Emile felt quite grateful. He wasn’t expecting them to argue per say, but he was slightly nervous about what they would say. But as far as he could tell it went quite well. Now the only task was telling Virgil.

“Are you serious?” Virgil asked incredulously, staring at Emile like he had two heads. Emile just nodded.

“If you don’t feel ready I can arrange something else but I thought-” Virgil cut him off.

“No, no, no, I want to go out, I was just surprised. You want me to stay here for nights right? How long should that last?” Virgil asked excitedly, his smile wide. Emile almost felt bad. Virgil had been here for a long time.

“Well I’m not certain. I was thinking we would reassess after about a week, how does that sound?” Emile asked, as Virgil nodded vigorously.

“Yes! When can I go see everyone?” Virgil asked eagerly. Emile thought for a second before responding.

“Well whenever really. In fact we can go right now if you’d like.” Emile said. Virgil’s smile suddenly faded as he started to look rather nervous. “Is something the matter?” Emile asked, taking note of the sudden change in demeanor.

“I’m… Nervous about going back to Thomas again. I know I’ve only been passively affecting Thomas right now but I might send him into a panic attack the second I return, or I’ll mess up somehow.” Virgil admitted, wringing his hands. Emile gave him a calm smile.

“Virgil, do you remember what we discussed earlier?” Virgil nodded, but didn’t look him in the eye “Why don’t you rephrase it in your own words?”

Virgil let out a sigh before biting his lip. “I am Thomas’s anxiety. Thomas needs anxiety. I cannot be replaced. I am not perfect but there's no one who can do this job better. Thomas is my friend, he doesn’t want me replaced.” Virgil said in an almost monotone voice, like he was reading off a script. Still, he seems to have calmed down slightly.

“We don’t have to go right away, I can give you some time if you’d like and warn the others.” Emile offered. He knew Virgil needed time for changes and didn’t react well to surprises or things going off schedule.

Virgil nodded softly. “That sounds good.” Emile smiled, before patting Virgil on the shoulder.

“Alright, I’ll go tell the others.” Emile told him as he stood up. Anything in particular you want me to say?” Virgil shook his head looking happier than Emile had seen for a while. It brought a smile to his lips as he left his office.

He was expecting to be alone, and nearly jumped in surprise when Logan spoke. “How is he?” Logan asked quietly, standing awkwardly by the door.

Emile’s first thought was to say ‘better than you’ but he held back. Logan hadn’t really been visiting Virgil, but he asked about him every time someone else did. In the bright hall lights Emile could see how actually bad things had gotten. He looked pale, really pale. Almost as pale as Virgil looked before. He was also slightly unkempt, which was worrying when it came from the logical side. Still he seemed to at least be sleeping, marked by the absence of circles under his eyes.

“He’s doing well. I’m giving him an hour to prepare himself before he leaves.” Emile said with a slight smile. “How about you?” Logan seemed to freeze up at this question.

“Wh-what?” He stuttered. Emile tilted his head. That shouldn’t have been such a hard question. 

“How are you? You seemed stressed, and a little unwell might I add.” Emile was sure to keep how truly worried he was hidden with his tone, but he didn’t want to leave it alone completely. “My offer still stands, if you wish to resume your therapy sessions that might not be a bad idea.” It was a testament to how bad Logan truly was when he didn’t dismiss the offer out of hand.

“Maybe. I have been a little… Off lately. Things haven’t exactly seemed… Real? Right? I’m not sure the word for it.” Logan tried to explain. This made Emile even more concerned.

“Do you need to talk right now?” Emile offered. Logan shook his head.

“No, no. We can figure that out later. I… Have some things to do.” Logan stuttered, then wandered off before Emile could say anything else. 

Emile instinctively knew something was off, but he couldn’t say exactly what. Logan needed to talk to someone, but perhaps he would feel more comfortable with another side. Maybe it was hard for him to talk about his emotions? Still, that was Logan. He could trust Logan to take care of himself, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! How are y'all doing?


	20. Where the Penmaster Makes a Pun

Everyone was quite busy, all prepared for Virgil to come out any second now. Roman and Remus kept fusing back and forth into the king as they tried to decorate the family room, but couldn’t agree on anything. Emile was checking over his notes, just to make sure everything was in order. Janus was pacing as he subtly checked his watch, clearly impatient. Patton was finishing up his baking, and Logan was trying not to break down.

Logan knew he was spiraling and there wasn’t a lot he could do to stop in. His legs were covered in cuts that he’d added these past few weeks. His ribs were easily felt underneath his shirt as he hadn't eaten for a long time, and he was probably only a few days from a breakdown.

He knows where everything started, but didn’t know how it spiraled so quickly. The cutting started after he quit therapy. It started as scratches, to help his calm down, but that stopped working so he moved onto cutting. 

He stopped eating after Virgil fainted, thinking it would help keep him calm when cutting wasn’t enough, and it worked. But when he finally tried to eat he just couldn’t. The smell made him feel sick. When he tried forcing something down he nearly puked it back up, and everytime he tried the feeling just became worse.

He was exhausted and tired, and definitely sick. He wasn’t sure what type of sick he was, but there was definitely something wrong with him.

Emile might know, or maybe even Janus. They both knew a lot, they were smart and knew about psychology. He needed some help. Yet he doesn’t dare ask. Virgil is far worse than him. Virgil thought he was so useless he tried to… Logan didn’t want to think about that.

At least now, maybe Logan could bring it up. Virgil wasn’t perfect, but he was doing better at least. He’d be coming back home, and they'd still have to watch him, but maybe Logan could get some help now? If they weren’t too busy Logan could open up a little and tell someone that he wasn’t alright. Maybe he wouldn’t say everything, but he could at least bring up the fact that he was struggling?

Logan glanced at the clock. Only ten minutes, then Virgil would be out. Logan went to the kitchen just as Patton was pulling a cherry crumble out of the over. He smiled when he saw Logan as he popped it on the table. 

“Lo! It’s good to see you. I’m surprised you’re out, you haven’t been around all that much. Are you doing ok?” Patton smiled, and Logan had to fight a wince. He’d definitely been keeping to himself lately, but didn’t realize anyone noticed. It wasn’t uncommon for him to hide in his room for days on end and was hardly ever noticed.

“I’m sorry for worrying you.” Logan said, though he really couldn’t give a better explanation. He wasn’t even sure why he’s been keeping to himself so much exactly, but talking to others had just been so exhausting.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I get that you need your space sometimes. Do you think you could help me set the table?” Patton asked. Logan wasted no time pulling out plates and silverware while Patton hummed a disney song Logan couldn’t quiet place. 

“How have you been?” Patton asked cheerfully.

“Good.” Logan said flatly. He wasn’t good with small talk and didn’t enjoy it at all.

Patton hesitated, trying to find the right words to say. “You know…” He started stuttering ever so slightly “We’ve been a little worried. I know you were struggling before, and Emile said that after you walked in on Virgil’s second attempt you stopped talking to him. Stopped talking to everyone really.” 

This was not good. Logan didn’t want to worry anyone, that is the opposite of what he wanted. He swallowed nervously as he thought of what to say. “I was actually… Planning on talking to Emile soon.” Logan admitted.

Patton beamed at his words “Really? That’s great kiddo. I’m proud of you.” Patton seemed quite happy about it, but Logan didn’t feel the same. Why is he getting praise for needing help? Why was he getting praise for worrying his family? It all didn’t make sense.

He heard a door open from the hallway and froze. He glanced at the clock, not realizing how much time had passed. Patton let out a happy squeal, grabbing a plate of cookies and rushing to be the first to greet him. Logan staggered behind, trying not to seem too out of sorts as he forced a small smile on his face. He was happy that Virgil was out, ecstatic even, but the previous conversation left a bad taste in his mouth.

“Virgil” Patton yelled happily. Logan made his way into the hall to see Patton trying both to wrap Virgil in a bearhug and hold the cookies. It seemed very awkward, but Virgil was smiling so he didn’t seem to mind too much.

“I can take those.” Logan offered, plucking the plate of cookies from Patton’s hands. In a heartbeat Patton wrapped not only his arms around Virgil’s neck, but also his legs around his waist like a koala bear. Despite himself Logan let out a laugh when Virgil started to stumble.

He didn’t even notice Roman and Remus had gotten in the hallway until Roman called out “VIRGIL” and happily pulled him into a hug.

“I’m a Pat-nini sandwich!” Patton joked as he was very much squished between the two much bigger sides. Emile emerged from the door behind him, quite cheerfully.

“Look who’s out! How are you doing you-?” Remus started, before Roman shushed him playfully, knowing it was going to be some sort of innuendo.

“Not now Remus, you can ruin things later.” Roman scolded jokingly, giving Virgil and Patton one last squeeze before letting go. Patton squealed slightly, before letting go himself, but grabbing onto Virgil’s shoulder for support.

“Whoa! Got a little dizzy there kiddo.” Patton laughed in his slight lightheadedness. The sides laughed and joked with Virgil, though Logan didn’t really play along. Despite the circumstances he felt out of it, like he wasn’t really there.

They all made their way to the living room, which was prepared for a Disney marathon. Patton had so many snack foods while Roman had gotten a bunch of DVD’s ready. Logan wasn’t sure who got all the blankets and pillows but he suspected it was Remus with how chaoticly they were tossed all around the living room. Everyone was chatting and joking quietly as they sat down all around. Without meaning to Logan sat next to Virgil. He glanced at the anxious side and was actually a little surprised at how healthy he looked. His skin was almost as tan as everyone else, he was no longer so terribly thin, and even the bags under his eyes were lighter.

“Thanks for being here Logan. I know you’ve been avoiding me after… The incident, and I’m really glad you’re here.” Virgil whispered as the lights dimmed and the first movie started. Logan didn’t even know how to respond.

Had he been avoiding Virgil? Well he’d been avoiding everyone, but was Virgil the only one who noticed? Of course it would be obvious. He hadn't even left his room more than once or twice a day. Of course he doubted explaining ‘I wasn’t avoiding you, I was avoiding everyone’ would play out well.

Luckily Virgil didn’t seem to expect a response as his focus turned back towards the TV. Logan was able to relax slightly, but was still tense. He promised himself he’d talk to Emile once Virgil was doing better, but the therapist was nowhere to be found. He vanished at some point and Logan wasn’t sure where he went. Besides, Logan really wasn’t looking forward to talking to him. He knew he had to because… He wasn’t sure.

Things were going fine, at least Logan thinks they were. He wasn’t paying attention. That was until Virgil grabbed his hand tightly and squeezed. Logan nearly jumped at the sudden contact. He looked over to see Virgil wide eyed and shaking.

“Virgil? What’s wrong?” Logan asked quietly, his voice not above a whisper. Virgil looked so startled, did Logan miss something? Was there something on the TV that made Virgil scared?

“Everyone keeps staring at me.” Virgil whispered quickly. He looked minutes away from a panic attack. Were people looking at Virgil? Logan didn’t actually know, but denying it probably wouldn’t help.

“Virgil, breath in for 8, hold for 7, out for 4.” He commanded softly. Virgil was holding him so tightly he felt blood be cut off from his hand, but didn’t dare move. It took a lot of effort but finally, finally, Virgil calmed down. But still he didn’t dare let go.

“Thank you.” Virgil whispered as the movie continued to play, but Logan barely noticed. What was he thinking? How could he have been so selfish as to demand attention for himself? Virgil wasn’t going to miraculously get better just because he was trusted with being in the main area. He was still struggling, and would need help. He would need his family to be strong, and Emile as well. Logan wasn’t perfect, but he refused to be that selfish as to take anything away from Virgil. Besides, he could get better on his own. Probably. At the very least he wasn’t about to make his problems anyone else's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't do puns, so you get ONE. That's it.


	21. Chapter Twenty One: The Mind Is a Double Edged-Blade

Logan was thinking. Usually that wouldn’t be so bad, but not in this case. He hadn't slept in two days, hadn’t eaten in who knows how long, and had started coming to the conclusion that he didn’t need to. 

He’d been taking notes. Any of these activities with any of the other sides would be affecting Thomas quite a bit. The results would be quite detrimental and concerning, but for Logan it didn’t seem to have any impact.

Logan also knew his emotions were quite unstable. He had cried twice in the past week, had a panic attack at some point, and his legs were covered in several brand new scars. He didn’t know why he was acting like this but he knew it didn’t matter. If nothing affected Thomas then nothing was wrong.

There was a knock on the door and Logan jumped in surprise. He had to fight down a wave of panic as he readjusted his shirt. He glanced in the mirror and grimaced. He was pale, thin, and looked quite unhealthy. There were dark circles under his eyes and his hair was a mess. His cheeks were hollow and his lips chapped. He quickly ran his fingers through his hair to make it look slightly better as the person knocked again.

“Lo? Are you in here kiddo? No one’s seen you in a while and we’re all pretty worried. Is something wrong?” Patton asked sweetly as Logan cussed under his breath. He stumbled to the door and opened it just a crack to see Patton's smiling face.

“Do you need something?” Logan asked flatley through the crack. Patton looked slightly confused as he tried to get a better look into the room and at Logan.

“Well, no, not really.” Patton stammered as Logan started to close the door. “But I brought some food!” He shouted, stopping Logan from closing the door any further. 

Logan thought for a second, then responded. “I’m not hungry.” He hissed, slamming the door. Patton stuttered but couldn’t stop Logan as he locked the door.

“Logan please! We know you haven’t been out in a long time. I know you must have some food squirreled away, but it can’t be too fresh. I have fresh bread! And some fruit! I don’t know what's wrong, and you don’t even have to talk to me about it. Just please let me help you a little bit. Maybe a fresh meal will help you feel better, hmm?” Patton begged, and Logan almost wanted to laugh. If Patton knew he just hadn’t been eating at all, he would have probably kicked the door down.

“Can you at least answer me? Please?” Patton begged, and Logan felt himself soften slightly. He didn’t want to worry anyone, Patton least of all.

“I am fine Patton. You may leave.” Logan said, keeping his voice flat. He was expecting to hear Patton walk away, but he didn’t move at all. Logan was starting to get nervous.

“No, I don’t believe you. You don’t sound fine, you haven’t been acting fine, and due to the fact that you won’t even open the door enough for me to see you. I doubt you look fine. I’m not leaving.” Patton says. Logan was starting to panic now. He wasn’t going to open the door, he had work to do, but what if Patton actually never left. Would he eventually get sick of it and just leave, or would he try and force his way in.

“Logan, open up.” Patton demanded, sounding quite scared. Logan was starting to panic now, his vision was blurring and he had started to hyperventilate. He stumbled away from the door, bumping into the wall as he did so. “Logan? What was that?”

“I’m fine. Go away.” Logan forced out, stumbling over to his desk. He needed to calm down and he needed Patton to leave. He couldn’t do anything about the latter, but knew how to fix the format as he searched around his drawer until he found the knife, it’s metal digging into his fingers, even more blood dripping down the sides.

“Then open the door. I’m not leaving till you do.” Logan didn’t even bother answering as he tried to fiddle with his pant legs, but quickly decided it wasn’t worth it as he raised the knife in the air before plunging it into his thigh. He let out an involuntary gasp at the pain, causing Patton to freeze.

“Logan? What was that?” Patton asked nervously, and Logan was starting to lose his patience.

“LEAVE ME ALONE” He shouted, as he pulled the knife out of his thigh with a gasp. He was expecting Patton to demand answers but the fatherly side must have gotten the hint as he finally walked away. Logan let out a sigh of relief, not even noticing anything was wrong. He looked down at his leg as a headache started to form, noticing how much blood there was, a lot more than usual. He aimed for the center, but ended up stabbing the inside of his leg instead, which bleed a lot more than expected.

Still Logan wasn’t worried. He grabbed his desk, pulled himself up, then immediately blacked out. He opened his eyes to see he was on the floor, though he didn’t remember falling. His head was spinning as he tried getting up, only to stumble to the floor again. He tried to think but his thoughts were fuzzy, and his vision was starting to go black. Did he hit his head? It didn’t matter, he needed to get up and fix this without worrying anyone else-There was another knock on his door.

“Hello Logan, It’s Doctor Emile. Everyone seems pretty worried, do you think we could chat for a bit? Just so I can confirm everything is alright?” Emile called sweetly from behind the door. Logan only had a few seconds to think about how this was the very last thing he wanted, before finally fainting on his bedroom floor.


	22. To Trick A Tortured Mind

Emile was a patient man, a trait he was quite thankful for. He knew he would need every ounce of patience he had when Patton came to his door, borderline in tears, saying how he was worried about Logan. Emile had heard that sentiment shared from several of the other sides, so it wasn’t surprising that someone had tried to talk to him. What was surprising was his reaction.

“He kept saying he was fine but he didn’t sound right.” Patton blabbled. “He just said ‘I’m fine’ over and over again. I tried to talk and insisted that I wouldn’t leave but I don’t even know if he heard me. There was a lot of banging, like he was running into things. I don’t know what was going on but he didn’t answer when I asked. Then I heard him gasp and this time when I asked he screamed at me to go away. I’d never heard him scream like that before. I don’t know what to do.” Patton fluttered around like a nervous hummingbird as Emile used every bit of therapist skill he had to keep him from freaking out.

“Logan doesn’t open up easily, especially when he feels he’s losing control. Don’t fret, I’m sure I can get him to talk a little bit, maybe even out of his room.” Emile calmed, gently rubbing Patton's back as he spoke.

“I’m just really worried.” Patton admits. Despite the fact that Emile felt the same he kept his face in a calming smile.

“Why don’t you go in the living room with Virgil and Janus while I try to coax Logan out, hm?” Emile offered, lightly pushing him in the direction of the living room. Patton wandered off as Emile started to think. Logan was a tricky one, though he didn’t mean to be. He never asked for help and it was impossible to tell when he needed help until he was at the tipping point, and Emile wouldn’t have been surprised if he was past that.

The hallway was quite empty as Emile made his way towards Logan’s room. He figured he’d try and get Logan to talk to him first before trying to force his way into his room. No matter what there was no way he would be leaving without seeing Logan’s face.

“Hello Logan, It’s Doctor Emile. Everyone seems pretty worried, do you think we could chat for a bit? Just so I can confirm everything is alright?” He said calmly, but was sure to keep his voice stern.

He wouldn’t have been surprised if Logan screamed or yelled. That would have been concerning, but at least it would have been consistent. If he had been suffering from severe mood swings then Emile would be out of his area of expertise. He already felt like he was in over his head, but he was going to do his best despite it all.

Though he was surprised when Logan didn’t answer. “Logan I will not be leaving. It doesn’t matter how stubborn you are. I don’t want to bring anyone else into this but if you won’t answer I won’t have much of a choice.

Then he realized something. Logan was used to being in control and not showing his emotions. Emile softened his voice. “If you’re worried about Patton I promise he isn’t upset or angry. He’s just worried.” While yelling wasn’t exactly healthy, it was an outlet for emotions, something Logan desperately needed.

Suddenly Emile was gripped with a sickening feeling of wrongness that brought him to his knees. Before he could figure out what was wrong he heard the pounding of feet down the hall and saw three sides rushing towards the door, Virgil, Patton, and Janus.

“What’s going on?” Emile demanded softly as he stood. He was ignored as Janus started to kick down the door.

“Were you able to get him to answer? A response? Anything?” Virgil demanded, his voice raised in panic.

Emile shook his head. “No! He didn’t respond to anything. What was that?” Emile asked, trying to keep his voice level, but in reality he was panicking.

“That’s what we felt when Virgil… Oh no!” Patton cried, absolutely frozen in place. Emile realized what was going on and felt himself go pale.

Not a second too soon Janus got the door down, revealing the sight. The room was a mess, papers scattered everywhere, walls covered in scratches and dents, and a bed that was practically thrown apart. Logan looked worse, his clothes looking almost comically oversized on his thin, weak frame. He looked unconscious, and his breathing seemed off. His face was both flush and hollow, but what caught Emile’s attention was the blood on his leg and the gushing wound it was coming from.

Patton let out a scream, but Janus and Virgil wasted no time rushing into the room. Emile watched, completely frozen, as Virgil grabbed a blanket and pressed it over Logan’s wound. 

Janus approached quickly and leaned down to pick Logan up, with Virgil still pressing on his wound. “That’s odd, there’s not a lot of blood.” He mumbled.

Emile was about to ask what he was talking about, Logan’s leg was covered in blood, but he looked around the room and paused. Janus was right, there was definitely blood, but humans had to lose a lot of blood to faint. Sides were no different.

Janus picked Logan up with such ease he nearly fell over. “He’s so light!” Janus gasped “there’s something off here.” He stated, which was obvious.

“W-well take him to the living room, that way we can look over his wounds. Patton, get the twins for me.” Emile commanded softly. Patton stood frozen, but nodded before disappearing.

The rest of them headed very quickly to the living room and Janus placed Logan on the couch. Under the harsh lights he looked paper white except his face, which was an unhealthy red.

“He’s not bleeding that heavily.” Virgil said, his brows furrowed in confusion.

Emile thought for a second before responding. “Patton said there was a lot of banging. With his physical state I’m wondering if the blood loss isn’t the reason he fell, though I’m certain it didn’t help.” 

Logan’s eyes fluttered open, but he looked dazed and out of it. “This isn’t my room.” He mumbled before sitting up, his head wobbling unnaturally.

“Logan, I have a few questions.” Emile started, putting on a mask of professionalism over his fear. “Do you remember me speaking to you?” He asked slowly to make sure Logan understood, but it didn’t seem to have an effect as the logical side looked around the living room, completely unfocused. 

He shot up to stand before anyone could stop him, but his stance was off, wobbly and leaned over like he was about to collapse. 

Virgil grabbed his arm quickly “hey, you might want to sit down.” He said softly, trying to guide Logan back to the couch. Logan pulled away roughly and stumbled a few steps away.

“No, no, I’m not in my room. I should be in my room. When did I leave my room?” He slurred, making the three sides in the room even more concerned.

He tried to stumble to the stairs but Janus grabbed him quickly. “Logan sit down.” He commanded blankly, trying to push him to the couch. Logan however slipped away, his 

thin arm easy to get out of Janus’s grasp.

“N-no, I have to go.” He stuttered “when did I leave my room? I should still be there, I didn’t leave.” He started to stumble backwards into the messy living room, His steps chaotic and uneven.

Virgil saw a book on the floor that was directly in Logan’s path. “Logan stop!” He called, but it was too late as Logan tripped backwards, his arms flaring wildly but doing nothing to stop his fall. He tried to twist around to pick himself up but only succeeded in hitting his head on the ground with a thud.

“Logan!” Virgil called, causing all three of them to rush forward. He looked awake but still dazed. Janus picked him up, revealing a bloody gash. 

Emile hissed “that’s not good” he mumbled, as he watched Logan rest limp in Janus’s arms, unmoving. “Lay him on the couch, I need to get that cleaned up.” 

As Janus was putting him back down and Virgil was getting a wet washcloth Roman, Remus, and Patton. Roman took one look at Logan and winced. “Oh that is not good.” He stated, clear discomfort in his voice.

“He’s not acting like himself either. At this point there are only a few solutions, none of which are good. Either he hit this head before this and has a concussion, he’s in the middle of a mental breakdown, or he’s fallen ill.” Emile informs.

Roman walked over to the Logical side who was blinking lazily but unaware. He examined the wound and pressed his hand against Logan’s forehead. “I think it’s the last one!” He announced, gaining everyone's attention. “He’s got a fever.”

“Shit” Emile said before he could stop himself. He stormed over to check himself, and sure enough Logan’s face was very warm despite the rest of him being completely frigid. His thigh was still bleeding heavily, and something needed to be done. 

“Alright, I need to look over him. Does anyone here have any medical skills?” Emile asked, expecting Janus to say he could help, but he was quite surprised when Roman raised his hand.

“I can help.” He offered, looking nervous but sure of himself. “Remus and I have taken care of each other since we were children.”

“I could probably help to!” Remus yelled “but that’s probably a shit idea.” He admitted, sitting cross-legged on the wall.

Emile took a second to calm himself before speaking. “Alright, Roman please pick Logan up and take him to the apartment.” All the other sides went pale and Emile was first to clarify “that is currently the most sterile place, and we will be able to give him some privacy. His wound may have been self inflicted, but it doesn’t seem like an attempt. Clearly he is delirious, which seems to be from the fever and I’m sure his recent head wound didn’t help. I’m not certain what mental state he’ll be in when he starts to get better but right now I’m worried about his physical state.” He beckoned at Logan’s pale form resting on the couch. 

“Right, that makes sense” Roman mumbled, before picking the logical side up gently, cradling his limp form against his chest. “He’s so light.” He finally said, before heading to the imagination.

Emile gave everyone a gentle smile. “Roman and I will make sure he’s alright, don’t worry. I’ll tell him what’s going on as soon as I can see what’s going on.” He said before wandering to the apartment, with a feeling of dread. Despite what he told the others he had a feeling there was more going on than just Logan being sick, and he wasn’t sure he’d like what he was about to find.


	23. Chapter 23

Roman hesitantly placed Logan on the bed in the bedroom, but he didn’t react. Roman brushed some hair out of his face, frowning at how hot he felt. “Roman, can you take his clothes off? I need to examine the wound.” Emile commanded as he started to get medical supplies ready in the bathroom.

Emile heard a stilted gasp from the room and rushed over. When he looked in the room he froze. Roman stood at the end of the bed with a hand over his mouth. Logan’s clothes were cast aside at the end of the bed, and Logan himself was covered in scars. His thighs were the worst, with more scars than unblemished skin, but there were scars all over. His lower legs were pretty bad, and the sides of his torso were also scared, but not as badly. He avoided his arms, which made Emile worried about how much thought was put into hiding his scars.

Emile forced himself to calm down before speaking. “Well that isn’t exactly an encouraging sign, but there is little we can do besides wrap those up and avoid infection.” He said, though he was starting to panic.

“I think it might be a little too late for that.” Roman hissed. Emile didn’t know what he meant but followed his eyes to a particular spot under his calf. Emile lifted Logan’s leg to get a better look at the jagged scar and winced. It didn’t look too out of place at first but on closer inspection it was easy to tell something was very wrong. It was deeper and messier than the rest, and far more red. It didn’t even seem fully closed. Emile brought his hand to the wound and felt it was warmer than the rest of the skin.

Emile bit his lip nervously. “Well we know where the fever is at least, but this could cause some complications.” Then he turned to Roman “do you have any medicine for infected wounds?”

Roman nodded, before summoning an IV and antibiotics. His hands shook slightly, so Emile took over, inserting it gently into Logan’s thin wrist. The logical side stirred, but didn’t wake up. 

Silently both of them cleaned and wrapped bandages around the scars till soon Logan was more covered in bandages than not. He was so thin, so pale, if it wasn’t for his shallow breathing Emile wouldn’t have even been convinced he was alive, but even that was concerning.

He suddenly broke into violent coughing fit and Roman started to panic. Emile lifted him up by his shoulders until the fit was over, before placing him back on the bed. Logan didn’t wake up.

“Roman could you summon an oxygen mask?” Emile requested, causing Roman’s face to go white with fear. “It’s just to make things a little easier on his body while he heals, he can breath on his own.” Emile explained, which was true. Logan could breath on his own but clearly it was a struggle, and Emile would rather be safe than sorry.

Roman summoned the mask and oxygen clumsily before handing it over. Emile smiled at him “Thank you” he said sweetly “I’ll take it from here. Gather everyone in the living room so I can explain what is going on and speak about what should be done in the future.” Emile commanded softly. Roman nodded before leaving very quickly, not wanting to stay any longer than he had to.

Emile sighed and slouched, feeling exhausted. He needed to rest later, but now he needed to take care of Logan. First he put on the mask and adjusted it to fit comfortably. Logan’s breath fogged the inside, which made Emile feel a little better. He didn’t want to ruin any of the binding so instead of trying to dress Logan he just placed a soft blanket over him so he didn’t get too cold.

Finally the last step, the restraints. He hesitated, but decided it was probably best. His heart twisted as he slipped Logan’s thin wrists into the cotton restraints before he tightened them.

He double checked Logan over, partially hoping that he would wake up. He didn’t, and Emile just sighed before leaving the room.

He found all of the sides sitting around the living room, quiet as death. They were anxious, so much so that it practically radiated off of them. Patton was wringing his hands, Virgil was twitching, Roman was tapping his foot, and Rems was chewing on one of his fingers. The only person who didn’t look upset was Janus. He was still, so still it was almost startling. It didn’t help that all his layers were covering him up, making him look like he wasn’t even breathing. Still Emile knew he was as upset as everyone else.

“May I have everyone's attention?” Emile asked. All the sides eyes immediately shot to him. Clearly they didn’t notice him before then.

“What happened?” Virgil asked “Roman told us to meet here but he didn’t tell us anything else. Is Logan ok?” 

“Not exactly” Emile said as he saw the panic rise in Virgil’s “but he will be!” He reassured quickly. “However there’s a lot that needs to be discussed.” Emile found a spot at the end of the couch as he prepared for a long conversation. After a few moments to collect his thoughts he finally spoke. “Logan’s fever is caused by an infected wound.” Roman looked down and bit his lip.

He let the statement linger in the air for a few seconds still surprisingly enough Janus spoke up. “How did he get this wound?” He finally asked in a stern but heavy voice.

“Logan had several wounds on his legs and torso.” Emile explained, before pausing “which appear to be from severe self-harm.” The silence was shattered as the room erupted into chaos.

“Wait what?” Virgil practically yelled in shock, the circles under his eyes darkening almost by a reflex.

“Oh my gosh! Poor Logan!” Patton cried, his eyes wet with tears.

“Are you fucking kidding me! I should know about this shit!” Remus yelled, swinging his mace around.

Only Janus and Roman were silent as Emile tried to calm the other sides with poor success. The noise was defining, and the sheer level of panic even moreso. Emile started to feel himself get anxious as he worried that he wouldn’t be able get anyone to calm down. Then Janus stood, raised his hand, and silenced the room, bringing everyone's hands over their mouths.

Emile felt his own hand slap over his mouth as they all turned to stare at Janus. The silence was deafening compared to the noise from earlier. Finally after a few seconds Janus spoke “I believe it would be best if Emile was given the opportunity to speak” Janus said as he slowly removed the silencing. 

No one spoke, even as their hands were removed from their mouths. Slowly they all looked over at Emile, who was trying to get his bearings again.

“Thank you Janus,” He said as he figured out what to say. The deceitful side gave him a sharp nod, and he continued. “We won’t be able to figure things out until Logan is awake, and even then his physical health is the main concern.”

“Will he… Will he have to stay in the apartment?” Patton whispered softly, his eyes wet with tears.

Emile gave him a comforting smile. “Well I would have to speak with him, but he appears to be self-neglectful and self-destructive, not actively suicidal. That’s not good, and we’ll still have to watch over him, but most likely no.” 

“How long will it take for him to recover?” Virgil asked nervously.

Emile frowned, not certain how to respond. “Honestly I’m not certain, but it’s best that we don’t try to push him to recover too quickly. Or more accurately, we have to make sure he doesn’t push himself to recover too quickly.” Everyone murmured in agreement, but Emile wasn’t finished. “However I will be taking him on as a client. That is something I’m going to be very insistent on.” He said, remembering how Logan had stopped therapy earlier despite him trying to convince him otherwise. “In fact, I’d like to talk to everyone, at least once, just to make sure this won’t happen again.” Emile said. The others nodded their heads in agreement.

“Would you like to speak to the king?” Roman asked, protectively wrapping his arms around a pale Virgil.

“If you and Remus would be so inclined, then yes.” Emile sighed “however, I’ll start with all that tomorrow. Logan won’t be awake for quite awhile, and frankly, I need some sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this I'm going on hiatus

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Y'all! This was inspired by 'these nightmares always hang on past the dream' by Greenneerg 123. I've been writing it since the last episode with Janus's name reveal. Please do me a favor and comment on their works, they deserve it.
> 
> However my book is just inspiration and goes a different direction, so their are no spoilers either way. Updates will usually be on Mondays because Monday's suck, and comment down below any predictions, thoughts, praise, or critiques you might have. I want to hear them.
> 
> Also this is a reupload because the original had issues


End file.
